Take an umbrella with you this week when you go to your 'special' appointment. It won't rain but there will be waterworks. One of the following objects will potentially cause you to have a life-altering event this week: a red car, an unripe avocado, Monday's edition of your local newspaper, or a vibrating electronic device. When a Barnacle and a Mussel get together, it's a bit like adding treacle to a slow burning fire. You have been warned.
Is there a door opening up in your life? If so then close it, or at most leave it only slightly ajar. If you can get away with it, try to eat everything with a spoon on Saturday. It will impress a secret admirer. On Tuesday, walk into the nearest bar after you have finished work and find a friendly Scallop to talk to. If you do not know anyone there, then so much the better.
Be careful not to overexert yourself in the kitchen this week. Remember, too many broths spoil the cook. This is a great week for trying something completely new such as listening to jazz, ballroom dancing, or invading a neighboring country. Have you ever slept with a Barnacle and regretted it? If not, then this might be the week to try.
You may say to others that you like cats, but this will be the week where you will be tested on how much you love cats. Particularly when a certain cat could unlock the secret to the whereabouts of a long-lost family member. Walk faster than the person in front of you if you want to get ahead this week...unless that person is carrying a knife. You have a few personal problems at the moment and you might feel that you should turn to a colleague for advice. But asking a Slug for advice is like stepping into a bath full of kerosene and then lighting a firework.
Your friends will tell you that you have to make up your mind regarding your big problem. They will tell you that you must sink or swim. Remember though,that there is a third option. Try to achieve a state of neutral buoyancy. The current problems with your job are partially due to the monotony that surrounds you. Kick start your career by doing something to shock your colleagues and show them your inner beast. If a Barnacle, Oyster, or Mussel says anything to you at all this week, don't believe them.
This week your colleagues will be trying to heed the words of the old nautical expression 'If you see a Slug, run for your lives'. Why do you try so hard, when everything you do fails? Happiness. Joy. Financial success. Just another three things that you will not experience this week.
A trip to the dry-cleaners could provide the impetus you have been looking for to kick-start your business plans. Doubt and uncertainty will cloud your thoughts this week. Try listening to a tall person for advice. You will get romantically entangled with an Octopus this week. They will regret it, but the quantities of alcohol involved mean that you won't remember anything so don't worry too much about it.
Try to spend one day this week in silence. Communicate only with gestures or bodily odors. Thursday afternoon (about 3:15) is the time for making a big decision about your life. Squids are all around you this week. Try not to get smothered in their tentacles. One Squid in particular will try to make romantic advances towards you. If you can't smell their hideous body odor, then you are a perfect match. If you can, then you are not.
The number 51 will be a powerful omen for you this Monday, but only if you are in the possession of some dried fruit. Spend more time not talking to people and your silence will be rewarded. You will find yourself in one of those situations where time is of the essence this week. However, a portly Barnacle involved in a roller-skating experiment is going to ensure that your scheduling goes out the window.
Your enemies are plotting against you. Ignore them, what's the worse that could happen? A friend in need is a friend indeed...except when they cheat on you behind your back. Keep a careful eye out on those that call themselves your 'friends'. You will see a Barnacle in considerable distress this week. If they are left-handed, you should step in to help, otherwise keep walking.
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