Wednesday holds a great surprise for you, unless you already know about it. You are a genius, only no-one knows it. Maybe you should try telling people. Your enemies might tell you that you are not a proper mollusk this week, i.e. that you don't belong in society. Ignore them and you will be more of a mollusk than they could ever be.
A famous sailor once remarked that 'A beached whale is like a boy urinating in a church at a wedding. It doesn't look good, it doesn't smell good, and everyone pretends not to notice, even though they are secretly annoyed. Don't be that beached whale. Food may be important for you this week, so it might be preferable if you try eating it. Watch out for a Barnacle in a hurry on Sunday. If you time it correctly, you will only end up with a small stain to show for their clumsiness. If you get your timing wrong however, you might be facing a stay in the hospital and you won't be eating solids for a long time.
The rabbit that runs twice as fast, eats twice as slow. Don't be the rabbit that wins a race but ends up hungry. Sexual tensions will be further inflamed this week by an inappropriate use of office stationary. Take a trip to your local art gallery and prepare to be moved by an unusual pasta-based sculpture.
Your enemies are plotting against you. Ignore them, what's the worse that could happen? Think of all the great things that might happen to you this week. They may never happen, but at least you're thinking about them. There is an old saying that goes something like this: 'A Clam, a Clam, a Clam! All I need is a Clam...but a Barnacle might be ok as well'. Heed this warning on Monday.
They say that you should never comment on a woman's age. Maybe you should try to do it this week to see if that saying still holds true. Fish are a big thing in your life at the moment. Catching fish and eating fish are what you are all about. On Wednesday, the color orange, the number 57 and a certain little Snail that you know will all combine to create a lot of trouble for you and your pet Yak. You don't have a pet Yak yet, but that's just part of the trouble that you'll be getting into.
Be careful what you choose to eat this week...there is a lot of food poisoning about. Have you looked outside recently? If you have you will have noticed that it has been dull and gloomy for some time. A bit like you. The person that you have a secret crush on does not feel the same way about you. If they knew how you truly felt, then they would probably be violently ill.
If you start reading a new book this week, but skip over every seventh page, it will lead to an unsatisfying conclusion but you will get the book read that much faster. Why do you spend so much time waiting for other people to tell you how great you are. Cut out the middle man and start singing your own praises while looking in the mirror. Do you know a Limpet? Do you want to know a Limpet? If the answer is yes, then on Sunday night make your way to where the cool people go. And take lots of loose change with you.
It could be a good time this week to heed the warning 'clams, fireworks, and alcohol do not mix well'. This week you will be tired. Tired of work. Tired of family and friends. Tired of life. However, you will sleep soundly. A distantly-related Octopus will offer an interesting opportunity to you this week. Whether to accept that offer will depend heavily on a) whether you trust your wife and b) how quickly you are prepared to learn Korean.
This might be the sort of crazy week where you should try to do the exact opposite of what everyone tries to tell you to do. One exception to this would be if anyone tells you to do the opposite of what you would normally do. The ship of your dreams is sailing down the river of despair. It's time to take hold of the tiller of fate, and steer yourself to the calm waters of your future. The letters F, Y, and K will all be very important to you this week, especially in conjunction with a Scallop wearing pink. Be especially cautious if they offer you a hot-dog, but don't offer you any mustard.
You work hard but seem to get no reward for your effort. Perhaps this week, you will get effort for your reward. The color pink will be very important to you this week. Especially on Friday, and when connected to the number 10, and if tomato juice is involved, then let's just say that it will be a day to remember. You might get some advice about this week from a Scallop about which orifice is most suitable for a particular pursuit that you might try on Wednesday. Please get a second opinion from someone else before you embark on said pursuit.
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