Time to remove the 'us' in fuss and put the 'me' in 'medicate'. A yellow car will loom large in your life (or maybe just your rear-view mirror) on Wednesday. Remember to wear your seat belt and try not to have any small animals in your car on that day. Beware an advance from a Limpet this week. They will cling to you like an alcoholic clings to a bottle of cheap whiskey.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
Why will the color purple be important to you this week? The answer to that question may only be revealed when you end up in a police station or supermarket on Monday. It could be a good time this week to heed the warning 'Clams, fireworks, and alcohol do not mix well'. A Limpet you know well, a new carpet, and a weak bladder will combine with tragic consequences this week.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
If you smoke, then this is a good week to give up. If you don't smoke, then maybe this is a good week to try. Fish are a big thing in your life at the moment. Catching fish and eating fish are what you are all about. This is a good week to remember that old nautical expression 'You can make me walk the plank, but I'll drown on my own terms'.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Laughter will fill the air this week. But will it be yours? There is only one way to be sure. Rent a good comedy on DVD and watch with a friend. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Which one of these will you be this week? A Squid in need is a Squid indeed. This is the week to hang out with your Squid buddy and see what pops out of the toaster.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
Avoid photographs this week if you think that your illicit affair may be caught on camera. Your challenge for this week is to clear your head of all thoughts concerning sex and mustard. You may be asked your age this week by a close business colleague...they may be trying to get you into trouble so you should probably lie.
The Slug July 26th
The number 47 will be important for you this week. This will possibly be an amount of money that you will lose, or the number of days you might be held for questioning by the police. If everything goes to plan this week then you will be a very happy Mollusk indeed. Chance are though, that it will fall to pieces...again! There will be good news on Wednesday this week. However, it will turn out to be very bad news by Friday.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Put some distance between you and a rival. At least 71 feet, but no more than a mile. Eat well this week, but don't eat too little, and don't eat too much. Also avoid the wrong types of food and focus on the right types of food. Get some attention this week by wearing 7 items of clothing on Monday, and then remove an item each day
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
Doubt and uncertainty will cloud your thoughts this week. Try listening to a tall person for advice. You may say to others that you like cats, but this will be the week where you will be tested on how much you love cats. Particularly when a certain cat could unlock the secret to the whereabouts of a long-lost family member. A Clam that you know will try to kill you this week. Well maybe they are just plotting the act at this stage. Actually, they might only be thinking about it. On second thoughts, it's more of a vague intention. So don't worry about it too much. Just be careful around them if they are holding any sharp objects.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
If you can get away with it, try to eat everything with a spoon on Monday. It will impress a secret admirer. Are you a lion or a mouse? Now is the time to nail your colors to the flag and decide whether you can squeak or roar. When you and a Limpet get together on Wednesday, sparks will literally fly. That's what you get when a chance encounter with a welder goes horribly wrong.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Eggs, or products containing eggs, are best avoided this week. Unless you are certain that they are what you want. Ancient mariners used to say that spotting a whale traveling westwards on a Wednesday, meant that you would suffer a bodily discharge on Thursday. Heed these words. Remember, it is always better to arrive early. Arriving late is a sign of a drunken loser.
[?2004h
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment