The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
Should you find yourself in a casino this week, then the number 70 might be the key to a little financial surprise (the surprise might involve the words 'your credit card is no longer valid' so be careful). Don't look behind you, instead concentrate on what lies ahead. The road that takes you on the longest path is the road that will not take you on the shortest path. On a good day, a Barnacle and a Clam can be as an effective a double act as Ross Perot and Tiger Woods.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
You've always wanted to try drinking a pint of raw eggs...now is the time to try. Your weight, or the weight of someone important around you, may become a discussion point this week. A Squid will get in your way this week. If you are in a car, then it is fine to run them down.
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
Don't do things that you don't want to do, unless you do want to do the things that you think that you don't want to do. Do you go for the unhealthy burger or the healthy salad? This is the type of question that will plague you this week. The solution is to go for neither, and instead choose the poached quails eggs. If they don't have quails eggs then I guess you will go hungry. You've always had two secret role models, but up till now they were so secret you didn't know who they were. Let the truth be revealed, for you secretly covet Valerie Harper and Tiger Woods.
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
Train yourself to be mentally stronger and reap the rewards. Especially on Thursday when a chance meeting with a handsome stranger will allow you to think outside the box. Your enemies are plotting against you. Ignore them, what's the worse that could happen? Get in a tussle with a Mussel and they will feel the slam of a Clam.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
Others will spend this week trying to think outside the box. Show them your true genius by turning the box inside out and then thinking inside it. If there was ever a week to shut the curtains, stay in bed, and hide under the duvet like a frightened kitten, then this is the week...unless you need to go out. Bless your Barnacles, for a Barnacle will come to save the day for you on Thursday. You would have never guessed that peanut butter would prove so useful.
The Slug
July 26th
Want some advice? Trying to be popular is never going to work. An alternative solution would be to crawl under a large rock and stay there. You need to go on a low-sodium diet to improve your health...pity this won't improve your looks though. Days to avoid this week include Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. Also Monday might be bad and Friday has an outside chance of being a miserable day. Wednesday is not looking too good either. But Tuesday will be ok...except if you have to talk to anyone in which case it will be a very bad day indeed.
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
You are being driven mad by driving. Don't get mad, get even. If there was ever one week in your life where you should eat cheese, this week is it. Is is really vanity if you pay to put an advert in a national newspaper to point out to everyone how beautiful you are?
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
On Saturday your week will take a turn for the worse when you attract the (unwanted) attentions of a born-again reincarnationist. They will try to claim you as their soul-mate. You should run away. A friend in need is a friend indeed...except when they cheat on you behind your back. Keep a careful eye out on those that call themselves your 'friends'. If someone offers you any food this week, then beware! It might
be spiked with pepper. You should no longer trust this person, even if you are married to them.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
You need to get away from the stress that is currently crushing your spirit. A weekend in an isolation chamber will help you focus. Eat, drink, and be merry. But not if you are driving or are a recovering alcoholic. In which case you should just eat. When an Oyster that you know comes around to visit you on Wednesday and asks if you can help them out with a little financial problem, be very careful. Offer them drugs. Offer them sex. But do not offer them money!
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
Belief is the key to your problems this week. Belief in the power of a burning flame. Belief in the strength that can only come from catching three green lights in a row. Belief in the proverb that 'Even a lost penguin will find its way home'. It's time to believe. If you make an appointment on Saturday then it will be cancelled, delayed or postponed. The trick will therefore be to make the appointment for a day that you can't make. You know an Octopus who is almost the perfect person. Polite, charming, attractive, and financially independent. Sadly, you chose to marry their poor, ugly, and alcoholic cousin instead.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 19th December 2011
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. Eat, drink, and be merry. But not if you are driving or are a recovering alcoholic. In which case you should just eat. Watch out for someone saying 'no' to you this week.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
Your watch is making you a prisoner to time. Destroy it. Break it. Smash it up. Be free from the restrictions of a time-delimited schedule...unless you have an important meeting this week. You will not meet any world leaders this week. Try to deal with this unsatisfying news by remaining calm and not attacking anyone with a sporting accessory. You know a Clam who deserves to be punched...twice!
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
How can something as simple and harmless as a tube of toothpaste cause so much misery? You will find out this week. Making more room for music this week will ease current frustrations. The more avant-garde the music the better, and 50's Jazz will particularly prove helpful. Sometimes you will try hard to avoid them, you will try your best to pass them by in the street or workplace. But on Tuesday there is no escape. You will have to go toe-to-toe with an Octopus. Make sure you have an adequate supply of breath mints.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Dietary choices may be important this week. Consider avoiding foods that are green or yellow in color. Sexual tensions will be further inflamed this week by an inappropriate use of office stationary. Remember, your lips are sealed. If you happened to disclose a certain secret to a certain someone this week, then a certain career (i.e. yours) might be ruined.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
Is there a ray of light at the end of the tunnel? A chance meeting on Tuesday with a gynecologist might provide some answers. This is a good time to give up something, particularly if you have an addiction to any illegal narcotics. This might be a very important week for your career, especially if you carry a jar of mustard with you everywhere you go.
The Slug July 26th
It's ok, your complete failure to achieve anything of significance in life is not entirely your fault...oh wait a minute, yes it is. In a week where everything that can go wrong, will go wrong, you just have to accept that this is largely your fault. There is an elephant in the room. You are the elephant.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
You work hard but seem to get no reward for your effort. Perhaps this week, you will get effort for your reward. Ignite your enthusiasm this week by planning a trip, but avoid buses, trains, and planes as these might bring you danger. This week, if you meet a Squid that looks at all like Gandhi then you might be in for some fun times. If however, you meet a Squid that resembles Tiger Woods, then you will almost certainly become violently ill before the end of the week.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
You are a genius, only no-one knows it. Maybe you should try telling people. A famous sailor once remarked 'Life is like jumping overboard without knowing how to swim. You will drown. We all drown. Such is life'. Apply this philosophy to your sales presentation on Wednesday this week. Hot fudge sauce will be your downfall this week, and the reason for this is that you will believe the foolish advice of a Scallop that you know. Believe me, hot fudge sauce is never the solution to problems in the bedroom.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Belief is the key to your problems this week. Belief in the power of a burning flame. Belief in the strength that can only come from catching three green lights in a row. Belief in the proverb that 'Even a lost penguin will find its way home'. It's time to believe. Make sure that you heed the old maritime warning this week: "When whales swim in threes, flatulence comes for thee". This will be a week full of stress and angst for you. Try releasing that angst by finding a Slug that lives in your street. Wait for them to leave their home and then paint the words 'I am better than you' on their doors and windows. You will feel much better.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Running away from things will not help problems this week. Neither will staying where you are. When you walk this week, take only tiny steps. It may take you longer to get where you going, but Rome wasn't built in a day. What you lack in wisdom, you make up for in strength. So maybe this is a good week to settle an argument with a fist fight.
If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. Eat, drink, and be merry. But not if you are driving or are a recovering alcoholic. In which case you should just eat. Watch out for someone saying 'no' to you this week.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
Your watch is making you a prisoner to time. Destroy it. Break it. Smash it up. Be free from the restrictions of a time-delimited schedule...unless you have an important meeting this week. You will not meet any world leaders this week. Try to deal with this unsatisfying news by remaining calm and not attacking anyone with a sporting accessory. You know a Clam who deserves to be punched...twice!
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
How can something as simple and harmless as a tube of toothpaste cause so much misery? You will find out this week. Making more room for music this week will ease current frustrations. The more avant-garde the music the better, and 50's Jazz will particularly prove helpful. Sometimes you will try hard to avoid them, you will try your best to pass them by in the street or workplace. But on Tuesday there is no escape. You will have to go toe-to-toe with an Octopus. Make sure you have an adequate supply of breath mints.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Dietary choices may be important this week. Consider avoiding foods that are green or yellow in color. Sexual tensions will be further inflamed this week by an inappropriate use of office stationary. Remember, your lips are sealed. If you happened to disclose a certain secret to a certain someone this week, then a certain career (i.e. yours) might be ruined.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
Is there a ray of light at the end of the tunnel? A chance meeting on Tuesday with a gynecologist might provide some answers. This is a good time to give up something, particularly if you have an addiction to any illegal narcotics. This might be a very important week for your career, especially if you carry a jar of mustard with you everywhere you go.
The Slug July 26th
It's ok, your complete failure to achieve anything of significance in life is not entirely your fault...oh wait a minute, yes it is. In a week where everything that can go wrong, will go wrong, you just have to accept that this is largely your fault. There is an elephant in the room. You are the elephant.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
You work hard but seem to get no reward for your effort. Perhaps this week, you will get effort for your reward. Ignite your enthusiasm this week by planning a trip, but avoid buses, trains, and planes as these might bring you danger. This week, if you meet a Squid that looks at all like Gandhi then you might be in for some fun times. If however, you meet a Squid that resembles Tiger Woods, then you will almost certainly become violently ill before the end of the week.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
You are a genius, only no-one knows it. Maybe you should try telling people. A famous sailor once remarked 'Life is like jumping overboard without knowing how to swim. You will drown. We all drown. Such is life'. Apply this philosophy to your sales presentation on Wednesday this week. Hot fudge sauce will be your downfall this week, and the reason for this is that you will believe the foolish advice of a Scallop that you know. Believe me, hot fudge sauce is never the solution to problems in the bedroom.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Belief is the key to your problems this week. Belief in the power of a burning flame. Belief in the strength that can only come from catching three green lights in a row. Belief in the proverb that 'Even a lost penguin will find its way home'. It's time to believe. Make sure that you heed the old maritime warning this week: "When whales swim in threes, flatulence comes for thee". This will be a week full of stress and angst for you. Try releasing that angst by finding a Slug that lives in your street. Wait for them to leave their home and then paint the words 'I am better than you' on their doors and windows. You will feel much better.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Running away from things will not help problems this week. Neither will staying where you are. When you walk this week, take only tiny steps. It may take you longer to get where you going, but Rome wasn't built in a day. What you lack in wisdom, you make up for in strength. So maybe this is a good week to settle an argument with a fist fight.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 12th December 2011
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
If your boss offers to take you out for a drink this week you should gently decline...unless you want to contract a 'downstairs' disease and be involved in an unpleasant (and protracted) divorce settlement. There is a very old tradition that Sailors used to follow when leaving home before embarking on a long voyage. Urinate on three things that you love, and spit on three things that you hate. Only this will ensure a safe trip. Heed these words before undertaking any business travel this week. On Tuesday you will meet an Octopus who will want to punch your lights out. Did you sleep with their partner behind their back? Only you - or the police - will be able to answer that.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
Belief is the key to your problems this week. Belief in the power of a burning flame. Belief in the strength that can only come from catching three green lights in a row. Belief in the proverb that 'Even a lost penguin will find its way home'. It's time to believe. Ever had to take over the controls of a plane due to an injury to the pilot? This week might provide an occasion to do just that. There is a Clam that is going to do something to you this week which will annoy you greatly. But be prepared by buying a good quality stain remover ahead of time.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Tiredness will knock on your door this week, so be prepared to consume vast amounts of energy drinks. You think that someone is out to get you, you think that they want to see you squashed like a bug. You are wrong. They are wrong. Everyone is wrong. This is a good week to remember that old nautical expression 'You can make me walk the plank, but I'll drown on my own terms'.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Your challenge for this week is to clear your head of all thoughts concerning sex and mustard. Allergies might prove bothersome this week, especially if you work on a farm or are allergic to milk. There is an old saying that goes something like this: 'A Clam, a Clam, a Clam! All I need is a Clam...but a Barnacle might be ok as well'. Heed this warning on Tuesday.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
Avoid cheesecake at all costs this week, except on Wednesday where a small slice of cheesecake will be tolerable (but not if it contains unripened fruit). You are being driven mad by driving. Don't get mad, get even. If you have the time, try to track down a trustworthy Mussel that you know on Sunday. Tell them a big secret and see how trustworthy they really are.
The Slug July 26th
Did you know that 'Slug' is very nearly an anagram of 'ugly'. This is quite fitting as your grim features are enough to put a dying dog off its food. Your miserable existence will take a further turn for the worse this week, so be prepared to sink to new lows. You have dandruff, do something about it!
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Ignite your enthusiasm this week by planning a trip, but avoid buses, trains, and planes as these might bring you danger. You will breathe more deeply this week when things that you want appear on the horizon, in a shimmering cloud. Invite a Squid over this week for some mollusk-on-mollusk action.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
This is a good time to reflect on all the things that you are not. For example, you are not an elephant, nor are you an electric toaster. A forthcoming trip is causing you much stress, Speak to your doctor for advice. On Saturday just remind yourself that you are lucky to not have been born a Slug.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
When you walk this week, take only tiny steps. It may take you longer to get where you going, but Rome wasn't built in a day. Is there a ray of light at the end of the tunnel? A chance meeting on Tuesday with a gynecologist might provide some answers. Wake up at 3:00 AM on Friday to remind yourself why it's such a bad idea to get up at 3:00 AM.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Why is everyone so keen on cheese these days? You know that steering clear of the yellow stuff is the right thing to do. Don't take no for an answer, especially when rancid dairy products are involved. You're a Mussel, so that's good. But you know a Barnacle who resembles William Shakespeare a little too much for your liking, so that's not so good. Well that's life I guess, it's all about balance.
If your boss offers to take you out for a drink this week you should gently decline...unless you want to contract a 'downstairs' disease and be involved in an unpleasant (and protracted) divorce settlement. There is a very old tradition that Sailors used to follow when leaving home before embarking on a long voyage. Urinate on three things that you love, and spit on three things that you hate. Only this will ensure a safe trip. Heed these words before undertaking any business travel this week. On Tuesday you will meet an Octopus who will want to punch your lights out. Did you sleep with their partner behind their back? Only you - or the police - will be able to answer that.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
Belief is the key to your problems this week. Belief in the power of a burning flame. Belief in the strength that can only come from catching three green lights in a row. Belief in the proverb that 'Even a lost penguin will find its way home'. It's time to believe. Ever had to take over the controls of a plane due to an injury to the pilot? This week might provide an occasion to do just that. There is a Clam that is going to do something to you this week which will annoy you greatly. But be prepared by buying a good quality stain remover ahead of time.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Tiredness will knock on your door this week, so be prepared to consume vast amounts of energy drinks. You think that someone is out to get you, you think that they want to see you squashed like a bug. You are wrong. They are wrong. Everyone is wrong. This is a good week to remember that old nautical expression 'You can make me walk the plank, but I'll drown on my own terms'.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Your challenge for this week is to clear your head of all thoughts concerning sex and mustard. Allergies might prove bothersome this week, especially if you work on a farm or are allergic to milk. There is an old saying that goes something like this: 'A Clam, a Clam, a Clam! All I need is a Clam...but a Barnacle might be ok as well'. Heed this warning on Tuesday.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
Avoid cheesecake at all costs this week, except on Wednesday where a small slice of cheesecake will be tolerable (but not if it contains unripened fruit). You are being driven mad by driving. Don't get mad, get even. If you have the time, try to track down a trustworthy Mussel that you know on Sunday. Tell them a big secret and see how trustworthy they really are.
The Slug July 26th
Did you know that 'Slug' is very nearly an anagram of 'ugly'. This is quite fitting as your grim features are enough to put a dying dog off its food. Your miserable existence will take a further turn for the worse this week, so be prepared to sink to new lows. You have dandruff, do something about it!
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Ignite your enthusiasm this week by planning a trip, but avoid buses, trains, and planes as these might bring you danger. You will breathe more deeply this week when things that you want appear on the horizon, in a shimmering cloud. Invite a Squid over this week for some mollusk-on-mollusk action.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
This is a good time to reflect on all the things that you are not. For example, you are not an elephant, nor are you an electric toaster. A forthcoming trip is causing you much stress, Speak to your doctor for advice. On Saturday just remind yourself that you are lucky to not have been born a Slug.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
When you walk this week, take only tiny steps. It may take you longer to get where you going, but Rome wasn't built in a day. Is there a ray of light at the end of the tunnel? A chance meeting on Tuesday with a gynecologist might provide some answers. Wake up at 3:00 AM on Friday to remind yourself why it's such a bad idea to get up at 3:00 AM.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Why is everyone so keen on cheese these days? You know that steering clear of the yellow stuff is the right thing to do. Don't take no for an answer, especially when rancid dairy products are involved. You're a Mussel, so that's good. But you know a Barnacle who resembles William Shakespeare a little too much for your liking, so that's not so good. Well that's life I guess, it's all about balance.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 5th December 2011
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
Why will the color purple be important to you this week? The answer to that question may only be revealed when you end up in a police station or supermarket on Wednesday. Now is a good time to live life in the fast lane and be daring and bold. Try wearing one less item of clothing than usual. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Don't give in to the idiots who are wrong.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
This will be a good week for fun, festivities, and especially fashion. Let your clothes do the talking and don't skimp on the accessories. Forget what you have learned and instead remember only that which you have yet to learn. If you have never learned anything then you will have that much more to remember and will therefore will become a very wise mollusk indeed. If you were a shrimp then you would be an outcast among your Mollusk friends. But you are no shrimp, you are a Snail, and don't you ever forget it!
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Ancient mariners used to say that spotting a whale traveling westwards on a Wednesday, meant that you would suffer a bodily discharge on Thursday. Heed these words. A cucumber, a pneumatic drill, and a skateboard. Two of these three items will not give you a major headache this week. Have you ever slept with a Barnacle and regretted it? If not, then this might be the week to try.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Even a tiny fly can stop a bullet, if its wings are made of steel. However, your wings are more likely to be made of damp cardboard, which might not be so effective. Avoid the number 94 if possible on Monday. The reason for this is unclear, but as a wise sailor once said "I don't mind being swallowed by a whale...as long as I pass out the other end". There is an old saying that goes something like this: 'A Clam, a Clam, a Clam! All I need is a Clam...but a Barnacle might be ok as well'. Heed this warning on Tuesday.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
If someone should happen to comment that you look just a little bit like Neil Armstrong, then maybe it's time to consider some heavy duty cosmetic surgery. Train yourself to be mentally stronger and reap the rewards. Especially on Tuesday when a chance meeting with a handsome stranger will allow you to think outside the box. You may be asked your age this week by a close business colleague...they may be trying to get you into trouble so you should probably lie.
The Slug July 26th
Is it possible for everyone you know to violently dislike you? Yes. It is. There is an elephant in the room. You are the elephant. Happiness. Joy. Financial success. Just another three things that you will not experience this week.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Big developments will occur in the bedroom this week. Make sure your sheets are clean. Computer problems might cause you headaches this week. Best stick to using a pen and paper. This week, if you meet a Squid that looks at all like Plato then you might be in for some fun times. If however, you meet a Squid that resembles Tiger Woods, then you will almost certainly become violently ill before the end of the week.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
Walk briskly this week, because the winds of opposition will try to slow you down. Break through the winds to achieve success, only by breaking wind will you find happiness. If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. A distantly-related Octopus will offer an interesting opportunity to you this week. Whether to accept that offer will depend heavily on a) whether you trust your wife and b) how quickly you are prepared to learn Korean.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
You need to get away from the stress that is currently crushing your spirit. A weekend in an isolation chamber will help you focus. Numbers will prove problematic for you this week. It could be a birthday or other important date, or it could be the lottery. Step wisely when choosing any number. Someone will swear at you this week. You will not be happy, in fact you will be livid. In these scenarios, physical retribution is only fair.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Eat well, sleep well, and make sure you put the cat out because you will need a lot of energy to get through this week. A CD will be released this week, a CD that you have been waiting a long time to see. You must never buy this CD. If you buy it, you will become more unpopular than you can possibly imagine. What you lack in wisdom, you make up for in strength. So maybe this is a good week to settle an argument with a fist fight.
Why will the color purple be important to you this week? The answer to that question may only be revealed when you end up in a police station or supermarket on Wednesday. Now is a good time to live life in the fast lane and be daring and bold. Try wearing one less item of clothing than usual. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Don't give in to the idiots who are wrong.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
This will be a good week for fun, festivities, and especially fashion. Let your clothes do the talking and don't skimp on the accessories. Forget what you have learned and instead remember only that which you have yet to learn. If you have never learned anything then you will have that much more to remember and will therefore will become a very wise mollusk indeed. If you were a shrimp then you would be an outcast among your Mollusk friends. But you are no shrimp, you are a Snail, and don't you ever forget it!
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Ancient mariners used to say that spotting a whale traveling westwards on a Wednesday, meant that you would suffer a bodily discharge on Thursday. Heed these words. A cucumber, a pneumatic drill, and a skateboard. Two of these three items will not give you a major headache this week. Have you ever slept with a Barnacle and regretted it? If not, then this might be the week to try.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Even a tiny fly can stop a bullet, if its wings are made of steel. However, your wings are more likely to be made of damp cardboard, which might not be so effective. Avoid the number 94 if possible on Monday. The reason for this is unclear, but as a wise sailor once said "I don't mind being swallowed by a whale...as long as I pass out the other end". There is an old saying that goes something like this: 'A Clam, a Clam, a Clam! All I need is a Clam...but a Barnacle might be ok as well'. Heed this warning on Tuesday.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
If someone should happen to comment that you look just a little bit like Neil Armstrong, then maybe it's time to consider some heavy duty cosmetic surgery. Train yourself to be mentally stronger and reap the rewards. Especially on Tuesday when a chance meeting with a handsome stranger will allow you to think outside the box. You may be asked your age this week by a close business colleague...they may be trying to get you into trouble so you should probably lie.
The Slug July 26th
Is it possible for everyone you know to violently dislike you? Yes. It is. There is an elephant in the room. You are the elephant. Happiness. Joy. Financial success. Just another three things that you will not experience this week.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Big developments will occur in the bedroom this week. Make sure your sheets are clean. Computer problems might cause you headaches this week. Best stick to using a pen and paper. This week, if you meet a Squid that looks at all like Plato then you might be in for some fun times. If however, you meet a Squid that resembles Tiger Woods, then you will almost certainly become violently ill before the end of the week.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
Walk briskly this week, because the winds of opposition will try to slow you down. Break through the winds to achieve success, only by breaking wind will you find happiness. If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. A distantly-related Octopus will offer an interesting opportunity to you this week. Whether to accept that offer will depend heavily on a) whether you trust your wife and b) how quickly you are prepared to learn Korean.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
You need to get away from the stress that is currently crushing your spirit. A weekend in an isolation chamber will help you focus. Numbers will prove problematic for you this week. It could be a birthday or other important date, or it could be the lottery. Step wisely when choosing any number. Someone will swear at you this week. You will not be happy, in fact you will be livid. In these scenarios, physical retribution is only fair.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Eat well, sleep well, and make sure you put the cat out because you will need a lot of energy to get through this week. A CD will be released this week, a CD that you have been waiting a long time to see. You must never buy this CD. If you buy it, you will become more unpopular than you can possibly imagine. What you lack in wisdom, you make up for in strength. So maybe this is a good week to settle an argument with a fist fight.
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