The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
Sunday holds a great surprise for you, unless you already know about it. Try to look forward to the future this week, but still keep one eye looking over your shoulder as the past may catch you up and spit in your eye. Beware an advance from a Limpet this week. They will cling to you like an alcoholic clings to a bottle of cheap whiskey.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
Why do people infuriate so much? Could it be because they are all idiots? Probably. Your challenge for this week is to clear your head of all thoughts concerning sex and mustard. When a Snail and an Octopus get together the results can be hard to predict. So take extra special care on Wednesday when you will meet an Octopus in an uncomfortable situation (an industrial-strength stain remover might be required).
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
Confront your inner demons this week and arrange for an internal exorcism. There may be times this week when you will wonder if you will ever make it to Friday unscathed. If you survive until Thursday evening, then you will be fine. A lively discussion with an old friend will end in one of two ways this week. Either you will resort to bare-knuckle fighting, or you will end up reciting poetry to them. Either way, onlookers will be greatly enthralled.
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
They say that you should never comment on a woman's age. Maybe you should try to do it this week to see if that saying still holds true. A foreign fish will play an exciting role in your life this week. There is an Oyster in town who is looking for a good time. You can join in that good time, but be prepared to run up an substantial credit-card bill, and don't expect to see your shoes again anytime soon.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
Are olives really 'the Devil's grape'? This is the week where you will find out. Avoid photographs this week if you think that your illicit affair may be caught on camera. Throw yourself into the (many) arms of an Octopus this week and you will find out whether what they say about an Octopus in an elevator is true.
The Slug
July 26th
You might want to take a second look in the mirror at some point this week...just to confirm that you really are that ugly. Do you remember that when you were young, that your parents said 'When you grow up, you have the potential to do anything you want to in life'? They were lying. You only have the potential to be a failure. You've been thinking about having some minor cosmetic surgery done, but here's a word of warning...if you polish a turd, it's still a turd.
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. The more you finish, the more just keeps piling up on your desk. The solution to your office stress is to buy a box of matches...the rest will become obvious. If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. Look yourself in the mirror on Wednesday and say to yourself "I'm an Oyster, an Oyster, an Oyster!". If you don't say this, no-one else will.
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
A yellow car will loom large in your life (or maybe just your rear-view mirror) on Monday. Remember to wear your seat belt and try not to have any small animals in your car on that day. Don't be surprised when an accidental slip on a calculator this week could lead to a diplomatic incident involving the French Navy. A female Mussel friend will give you something very precious this week, try not to blow the moment by commenting on her oversized rear.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
Be wise on Thursday, but timid on Friday. The old sailors motto of 'Kick it. Beat it. Cook it. Eat it.' may have special relevance to you this week when you will be faced with an animal that is in your way. A portly Mussel that you work with will literally get in your way this week. You might want to tactfully suggest that the fat lump of lard should go on a diet.
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Which one of these will you be this week? Sometimes it is good to try something new. Sunday will offer you the best chance that you will ever have to try something new that involves cheese. Make some sweet love in the afternoon...about 3:43 pm.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Monday, October 20, 2014
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 20th October 2014
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
You have been thinking recently, 'is this the best I can do?'. The answer, sadly, is 'yes'. This is a great week for trying something completely new such as listening to jazz, ballroom dancing, or invading a neighboring country. Beware the old saying: 'a Squid in need is a Squid indeed'. It might make no sense, but then again neither does the weather.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
The number 37 will be a powerful omen for you this Monday, but only if you are in the possession of some dried fruit. Don't be surprised when an accidental slip on a calculator this week could lead to a diplomatic incident involving the French Navy. Think of a beautiful day where you are happy and carefree. Now think of a fat and sweaty Mussel that you know. They will ruin said beautiful day and an unpleasant bout of flatulence will almost certainly be the cause.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
This is a good time to give up something, particularly if you have an addiction to any illegal narcotics. Laughter will fill the air this week. But will it be yours? There is only one way to be sure. Rent a good comedy on DVD and watch with a friend. When a Slug comes calling at your door, asking for a little financial favor, tell them in no uncertain terms: "You are a poor excuse for a mollusk, and I would rather force-feed myself to a shark than lend you any money".
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Be wise on Thursday, but timid on Friday. You might be familiar with the saying that 'you cannot buy success', well this might be a good week to try anyway. You are not Cleopatra, so don't try to act like them...unless you have a good lawyer of course.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
The color red will be very important to you this week. Especially on Tuesday, and when connected to the number 45, and if tomato juice is involved, then let's just say that it will be a day to remember. A few things to avoid this week if you know what's good for you: cold tea, hot milk, three-legged animals, North Dakota, and books with the word 'fun' in their title. Throw yourself into the (many) arms of an Octopus this week and you will find out whether what they say about an Octopus in an elevator is true.
The Slug July 26th
You will go to an auction on Saturday. You will pay too much for something that you won't be able to sell and which you will take an instant disliking too the moment after you buy it. You are an idiot. Romance looms large this week. But not for you unfortunately. Want some advice? Trying to be popular is never going to work. An alternative solution would be to crawl under a large rock and stay there.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Walk faster than the person in front of you if you want to get ahead this week...unless that person is carrying a knife. Take a second look at what you are wearing. Your friends think that it is time that you burn your wardrobe. Maybe they are right? On Friday, your day will be swiftly ruined by an odious Slug that you know. You can't prevent what they are going to do, the only thing you can do is feel a small degree of satisfaction when you sue them for every penny they've got.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
The current problems with your job are partially due to the monotony that surrounds you. Kick start your career by doing something to shock your colleagues and show them your inner beast. This might be the sort of crazy week where you should try to do the exact opposite of what everyone tries to tell you to do. One exception to this would be if anyone tells you to do the opposite of what you would normally do. If someone offers you any food this week, then beware! It might be spiked with pepper. You should no longer trust this person, even if you are married to them.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you content? Are you restless? The answers to 3 of these questions will not be revealed this week. Be careful not to overexert yourself in the kitchen this week. Remember, too many broths spoil the cook. When a Squid and an Octopus meet it's full-on tentacle action. So if you are out and about on Friday, then make sure you take enough moisturizer.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
You will not meet any world leaders this week. Try to deal with this unsatisfying news by remaining calm and not attacking anyone with a sporting accessory. Up for a challenge? Then remove all of the labels from any tins in your house. Meal times will then have an element of surprise and danger about them. You will be asked to look after a Limpet this week. That may be a good thing but it may be a bad thing. Be especially careful on Wednesday when said Limpet might ask you to do something which could be considered illegal in many countries.
You have been thinking recently, 'is this the best I can do?'. The answer, sadly, is 'yes'. This is a great week for trying something completely new such as listening to jazz, ballroom dancing, or invading a neighboring country. Beware the old saying: 'a Squid in need is a Squid indeed'. It might make no sense, but then again neither does the weather.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
The number 37 will be a powerful omen for you this Monday, but only if you are in the possession of some dried fruit. Don't be surprised when an accidental slip on a calculator this week could lead to a diplomatic incident involving the French Navy. Think of a beautiful day where you are happy and carefree. Now think of a fat and sweaty Mussel that you know. They will ruin said beautiful day and an unpleasant bout of flatulence will almost certainly be the cause.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
This is a good time to give up something, particularly if you have an addiction to any illegal narcotics. Laughter will fill the air this week. But will it be yours? There is only one way to be sure. Rent a good comedy on DVD and watch with a friend. When a Slug comes calling at your door, asking for a little financial favor, tell them in no uncertain terms: "You are a poor excuse for a mollusk, and I would rather force-feed myself to a shark than lend you any money".
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Be wise on Thursday, but timid on Friday. You might be familiar with the saying that 'you cannot buy success', well this might be a good week to try anyway. You are not Cleopatra, so don't try to act like them...unless you have a good lawyer of course.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
The color red will be very important to you this week. Especially on Tuesday, and when connected to the number 45, and if tomato juice is involved, then let's just say that it will be a day to remember. A few things to avoid this week if you know what's good for you: cold tea, hot milk, three-legged animals, North Dakota, and books with the word 'fun' in their title. Throw yourself into the (many) arms of an Octopus this week and you will find out whether what they say about an Octopus in an elevator is true.
The Slug July 26th
You will go to an auction on Saturday. You will pay too much for something that you won't be able to sell and which you will take an instant disliking too the moment after you buy it. You are an idiot. Romance looms large this week. But not for you unfortunately. Want some advice? Trying to be popular is never going to work. An alternative solution would be to crawl under a large rock and stay there.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Walk faster than the person in front of you if you want to get ahead this week...unless that person is carrying a knife. Take a second look at what you are wearing. Your friends think that it is time that you burn your wardrobe. Maybe they are right? On Friday, your day will be swiftly ruined by an odious Slug that you know. You can't prevent what they are going to do, the only thing you can do is feel a small degree of satisfaction when you sue them for every penny they've got.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
The current problems with your job are partially due to the monotony that surrounds you. Kick start your career by doing something to shock your colleagues and show them your inner beast. This might be the sort of crazy week where you should try to do the exact opposite of what everyone tries to tell you to do. One exception to this would be if anyone tells you to do the opposite of what you would normally do. If someone offers you any food this week, then beware! It might be spiked with pepper. You should no longer trust this person, even if you are married to them.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you content? Are you restless? The answers to 3 of these questions will not be revealed this week. Be careful not to overexert yourself in the kitchen this week. Remember, too many broths spoil the cook. When a Squid and an Octopus meet it's full-on tentacle action. So if you are out and about on Friday, then make sure you take enough moisturizer.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
You will not meet any world leaders this week. Try to deal with this unsatisfying news by remaining calm and not attacking anyone with a sporting accessory. Up for a challenge? Then remove all of the labels from any tins in your house. Meal times will then have an element of surprise and danger about them. You will be asked to look after a Limpet this week. That may be a good thing but it may be a bad thing. Be especially careful on Wednesday when said Limpet might ask you to do something which could be considered illegal in many countries.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 13th October 2014
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. It's a happy week! Time to remove the 'us' in fuss and put the 'me' in 'medicate'. You may want to keep a fellow Clam close to your side on Saturday.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
You need to get away from the stress that is currently crushing your spirit. A weekend in an isolation chamber will help you focus. If someone should happen to comment that you look just a little bit like Edgar Allen Poe, then maybe it's time to consider some heavy duty cosmetic surgery. Stupid is as stupid does, and as stupidity goes, a run in on Thursday with a Slug will have you reaching for your gun (metaphorically). Shoot down the Slug (metaphorically speaking) before they shoot down your dreams.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Allergies might prove bothersome this week, especially if you work on a farm or are allergic to milk. You want what you cannot have. You have what you no longer want. Such is life. You will bump into a Mussel on Wednesday. They will not know you, and you will not know them. You will not talk to them, and they will not talk to you. But it is a meeting of profound importance to your life and career.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
If you can get away with it, try to eat everything with a spoon on Monday. It will impress a secret admirer. Travel this week will broaden the mind, but flatten the wallet. There is an Oyster in town who is looking for a good time. You can join in that good time, but be prepared to run up an substantial credit-card bill, and don't expect to see your shoes again anytime soon.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
A CD will be released this week, a CD that you have been waiting a long time to see. You must never buy this CD. If you buy it, you will become more unpopular than you can possibly imagine. You will see someone this week who looks suspiciously like Elizabeth Dole. This will have no bearing on your life whatsoever. On Tuesday night you will dream of being Doris Day. You won't know why until the following @day@ when a chance meeting with an international patent attorney will shed much light on this mystery.
The Slug July 26th
Romance looms large this week. But not for you unfortunately. You may be feeling down. You may be feeling that nothing good ever happens to you. But don't worry. Just remember, that 99.9% of the rest of the population are much happier than you. So at least it all balances out! Happiness. Joy. Financial success. Just another three things that you will not experience this week.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
A famous sailor once remarked that 'A beached whale is like a boy urinating in a church at a wedding. It doesn't look good, it doesn't smell good, and everyone pretends not to notice, even though they are secretly annoyed. Don't be that beached whale. In a parallel universe you were born as Michael J. Jordan. Don't get too excited, because you are still living in this universe. Get the guys or girls around your place on Wednesday for a lurve fest.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
A famous fisherman once noted that while five fish will always feed a family of four, four fish might not feed a family of five. These words will have special meaning for you this week. You are being driven mad by driving. Don't get mad, get even. Hot fudge sauce will be your downfall this week, and the reason for this is that you will believe the foolish advice of a Scallop that you know. Believe me, hot fudge sauce is never the solution to problems in the bedroom.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Tiredness will knock on your door this week, so be prepared to consume vast amounts of energy drinks. A man connected with the number 29 will potentially have a healing effect on your 'little problem' that's been bothering you. If you hear just one more person swear within a 20-foot radius of you, then it is time to tear up the map and get out of this town.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
This is a good week to set sail on a new voyage of discovery and adventure...unless you are feeling tired, in which case you should stay at home. This might be the sort of crazy week where you should try to do the exact opposite of what everyone tries to tell you to do. One exception to this would be if anyone tells you to do the opposite of what you would normally do. Remember, it is always better to arrive early. Arriving late is a sign of a drunken loser.
Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. It's a happy week! Time to remove the 'us' in fuss and put the 'me' in 'medicate'. You may want to keep a fellow Clam close to your side on Saturday.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
You need to get away from the stress that is currently crushing your spirit. A weekend in an isolation chamber will help you focus. If someone should happen to comment that you look just a little bit like Edgar Allen Poe, then maybe it's time to consider some heavy duty cosmetic surgery. Stupid is as stupid does, and as stupidity goes, a run in on Thursday with a Slug will have you reaching for your gun (metaphorically). Shoot down the Slug (metaphorically speaking) before they shoot down your dreams.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Allergies might prove bothersome this week, especially if you work on a farm or are allergic to milk. You want what you cannot have. You have what you no longer want. Such is life. You will bump into a Mussel on Wednesday. They will not know you, and you will not know them. You will not talk to them, and they will not talk to you. But it is a meeting of profound importance to your life and career.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
If you can get away with it, try to eat everything with a spoon on Monday. It will impress a secret admirer. Travel this week will broaden the mind, but flatten the wallet. There is an Oyster in town who is looking for a good time. You can join in that good time, but be prepared to run up an substantial credit-card bill, and don't expect to see your shoes again anytime soon.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
A CD will be released this week, a CD that you have been waiting a long time to see. You must never buy this CD. If you buy it, you will become more unpopular than you can possibly imagine. You will see someone this week who looks suspiciously like Elizabeth Dole. This will have no bearing on your life whatsoever. On Tuesday night you will dream of being Doris Day. You won't know why until the following @day@ when a chance meeting with an international patent attorney will shed much light on this mystery.
The Slug July 26th
Romance looms large this week. But not for you unfortunately. You may be feeling down. You may be feeling that nothing good ever happens to you. But don't worry. Just remember, that 99.9% of the rest of the population are much happier than you. So at least it all balances out! Happiness. Joy. Financial success. Just another three things that you will not experience this week.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
A famous sailor once remarked that 'A beached whale is like a boy urinating in a church at a wedding. It doesn't look good, it doesn't smell good, and everyone pretends not to notice, even though they are secretly annoyed. Don't be that beached whale. In a parallel universe you were born as Michael J. Jordan. Don't get too excited, because you are still living in this universe. Get the guys or girls around your place on Wednesday for a lurve fest.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
A famous fisherman once noted that while five fish will always feed a family of four, four fish might not feed a family of five. These words will have special meaning for you this week. You are being driven mad by driving. Don't get mad, get even. Hot fudge sauce will be your downfall this week, and the reason for this is that you will believe the foolish advice of a Scallop that you know. Believe me, hot fudge sauce is never the solution to problems in the bedroom.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Tiredness will knock on your door this week, so be prepared to consume vast amounts of energy drinks. A man connected with the number 29 will potentially have a healing effect on your 'little problem' that's been bothering you. If you hear just one more person swear within a 20-foot radius of you, then it is time to tear up the map and get out of this town.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
This is a good week to set sail on a new voyage of discovery and adventure...unless you are feeling tired, in which case you should stay at home. This might be the sort of crazy week where you should try to do the exact opposite of what everyone tries to tell you to do. One exception to this would be if anyone tells you to do the opposite of what you would normally do. Remember, it is always better to arrive early. Arriving late is a sign of a drunken loser.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 6th October 2014
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
If you are driving and you see someone who looks like Spider Man driving a purple car, then it is time to leave town immediately otherwise you will be associated with a very bad smell for many months. Wear a smile on this week because you cannot fail* and everything you do will turn out to be magical and rewarding (* = terms and conditions may apply). A old Snail associate will cross your path this week...very slowly. Be patient, this Snail will provide you with much needed culinary relief.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
This is a great week for trying something completely new such as listening to jazz, ballroom dancing, or invading a neighboring country. The color black will be very important to you this week. Especially on Thursday, and when connected to the number 5, and if tomato juice is involved, then let's just say that it will be a day to remember. A Limpet you know well, a new carpet, and a weak bladder will combine with tragic consequences this week.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Do you want to feel like crap every morning? If the answer is no, then try eating walnuts before bedtime. Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you content? Are you restless? The answers to 3 of these questions will not be revealed this week. When a Slug comes calling at your door, asking for a little financial favor, tell them in no uncertain terms: "You are a poor excuse for a mollusk, and I would rather force-feed myself to a shark than lend you any money".
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Make sure that you heed the old maritime warning this week: "When whales swim in threes, flatulence comes for thee". Put some distance between you and a rival. At least 35 feet, but no more than a mile. There is an Oyster in town who is looking for a good time. You can join in that good time, but be prepared to run up an substantial credit-card bill, and don't expect to see your shoes again anytime soon.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
A ship needs a rudder, a ship needs a captain, and a ship needs appropriate health and safety information. Who is the captain of your ship, and who has their hand on the rudder? And most importantly, do you have a life-jacket? You will not meet any world leaders this week. Try to deal with this unsatisfying news by remaining calm and not attacking anyone with a sporting accessory. If you have the time, try to track down a trustworthy Mussel that you know on Tuesday. Tell them a big secret and see how trustworthy they really are.
The Slug July 26th
Do you remember that when you were young, that your parents said 'When you grow up, you have the potential to do anything you want to in life'? They were lying. You only have the potential to be a failure. Be careful what you choose to eat this week...there is a lot of food poisoning about. Remember, things can go only get better...actually for you they can probably still get quite a bit worse.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Even a tiny fly can stop a bullet, if its wings are made of steel. However, your wings are more likely to be made of damp cardboard, which might not be so effective. A forthcoming trip is causing you much stress, Speak to your doctor for advice. Other Mollusks would say that 'one-on-one is fun', but you are an Oyster, in which case you should adhere to the 'eight-on-eight is great' school of bedroom philosophy.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
The old sailors motto of 'Kick it. Beat it. Cook it. Eat it.' may have special relevance to you this week when you will be faced with an animal that is in your way. Self-sufficiency is the name of the game for you this week. If you can avoid buying any food, then so much the better. If someone offers you any food this week, then beware! It might be spiked with pepper. You should no longer trust this person, even if you are married to them.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
A little rodent problem will cause you a major headache this week. Who knew that rats liked ice-cream? This week will see you face many important questions. It is important that you answer those questions. You know which way is north and that ain't no lie. Use this information to your advantage on Saturday when a navigationally-challenged colleague will seek your guidance.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
There is no difference between what you can do and what you think you can do. The only difference is in your mind, or what you think is in your mind. Don't leave your house on Monday afternoon, disaster lurks if you step outside. There is a Squid that you really like. There is a Squid that really likes you. Unfortunately they are half your age and live on the other side of the world.
If you are driving and you see someone who looks like Spider Man driving a purple car, then it is time to leave town immediately otherwise you will be associated with a very bad smell for many months. Wear a smile on this week because you cannot fail* and everything you do will turn out to be magical and rewarding (* = terms and conditions may apply). A old Snail associate will cross your path this week...very slowly. Be patient, this Snail will provide you with much needed culinary relief.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
This is a great week for trying something completely new such as listening to jazz, ballroom dancing, or invading a neighboring country. The color black will be very important to you this week. Especially on Thursday, and when connected to the number 5, and if tomato juice is involved, then let's just say that it will be a day to remember. A Limpet you know well, a new carpet, and a weak bladder will combine with tragic consequences this week.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Do you want to feel like crap every morning? If the answer is no, then try eating walnuts before bedtime. Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you content? Are you restless? The answers to 3 of these questions will not be revealed this week. When a Slug comes calling at your door, asking for a little financial favor, tell them in no uncertain terms: "You are a poor excuse for a mollusk, and I would rather force-feed myself to a shark than lend you any money".
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Make sure that you heed the old maritime warning this week: "When whales swim in threes, flatulence comes for thee". Put some distance between you and a rival. At least 35 feet, but no more than a mile. There is an Oyster in town who is looking for a good time. You can join in that good time, but be prepared to run up an substantial credit-card bill, and don't expect to see your shoes again anytime soon.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
A ship needs a rudder, a ship needs a captain, and a ship needs appropriate health and safety information. Who is the captain of your ship, and who has their hand on the rudder? And most importantly, do you have a life-jacket? You will not meet any world leaders this week. Try to deal with this unsatisfying news by remaining calm and not attacking anyone with a sporting accessory. If you have the time, try to track down a trustworthy Mussel that you know on Tuesday. Tell them a big secret and see how trustworthy they really are.
The Slug July 26th
Do you remember that when you were young, that your parents said 'When you grow up, you have the potential to do anything you want to in life'? They were lying. You only have the potential to be a failure. Be careful what you choose to eat this week...there is a lot of food poisoning about. Remember, things can go only get better...actually for you they can probably still get quite a bit worse.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Even a tiny fly can stop a bullet, if its wings are made of steel. However, your wings are more likely to be made of damp cardboard, which might not be so effective. A forthcoming trip is causing you much stress, Speak to your doctor for advice. Other Mollusks would say that 'one-on-one is fun', but you are an Oyster, in which case you should adhere to the 'eight-on-eight is great' school of bedroom philosophy.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
The old sailors motto of 'Kick it. Beat it. Cook it. Eat it.' may have special relevance to you this week when you will be faced with an animal that is in your way. Self-sufficiency is the name of the game for you this week. If you can avoid buying any food, then so much the better. If someone offers you any food this week, then beware! It might be spiked with pepper. You should no longer trust this person, even if you are married to them.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
A little rodent problem will cause you a major headache this week. Who knew that rats liked ice-cream? This week will see you face many important questions. It is important that you answer those questions. You know which way is north and that ain't no lie. Use this information to your advantage on Saturday when a navigationally-challenged colleague will seek your guidance.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
There is no difference between what you can do and what you think you can do. The only difference is in your mind, or what you think is in your mind. Don't leave your house on Monday afternoon, disaster lurks if you step outside. There is a Squid that you really like. There is a Squid that really likes you. Unfortunately they are half your age and live on the other side of the world.
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