Belief is the key to your problems this week. Belief in the power of a burning flame. Belief in the strength that can only come from catching three green lights in a row. Belief in the proverb that 'Even a lost penguin will find its way home'. It's time to believe. Something will be hot this week. It could be you, it could be the weather, or it could be some mustard. The heat will be good, just remember to stay cool. A old Snail associate will cross your path this week...very slowly. Be patient, this Snail will provide you with much needed culinary relief.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
Are you a lion or a mouse? Now is the time to nail your colors to the flag and decide whether you can squeak or roar. A foreign fish will play an exciting role in your life this week. A Limpet you know well, a new carpet, and a weak bladder will combine with tragic consequences this week.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
A CD will be released this week, a CD that you have been waiting a long time to see. You must never buy this CD. If you buy it, you will become more unpopular than you can possibly imagine. Try experiencing the quirkier side of life when you next read a book by only reading the odd-numbered pages. Get your friends to form a circle around you, then they can clap and cheer at your brilliance.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
You are being driven mad by driving. Don't get mad, get even. Confront your inner demons this week and arrange for an internal exorcism. You would rather stick a knife in your eye than disclose a less than important secret to your boss.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
The rabbit that runs twice as fast, eats twice as slow. Don't be the rabbit that wins a race but ends up hungry. This week you might find yourself inconvenienced in an enclosed space with someone who looks remarkably like Louis Pasteur. Does this matter? Only time will tell. Throw yourself into the (many) arms of an Octopus this week and you will find out whether what they say about an Octopus in an elevator is true.
The Slug July 26th
You might want to take a second look in the mirror at some point this week...just to confirm that you really are that ugly. You may have heard of the saying "Don't worry, be happy"...well, that doesn't apply to miserable idiots like you. There will be good news on Wednesday this week. However, it will turn out to be very bad news by Friday.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
If you wear too much make-up on Sunday, you could be in for trouble when someone close to you mistakes you for someone even closer to them. Spend more time not talking to people and your silence will be rewarded. Is is really vanity if you pay to put an advert in a national newspaper to point out to everyone how beautiful you are?
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. The more you finish, the more just keeps piling up on your desk. The solution to your office stress is to buy a box of matches...the rest will become obvious. Tell a loved one that you love them this week. Also tell someone you hate that you hate them. Life is all about balance. A stupid Clam friend that you know will prove very bothersome on Tuesday. Just ignore them. Unless they start removing clothes in which case you should just run away.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
A sailor that can't sail is not a sailor. Likewise a thinker that can't think is not a thinker. Are you a sailor or a thinker? Nobody seems to recognize your genius. You are a jumbo shrimp in a sea of Clams. If you hear just one more person swear within a 20-foot radius of you, then it is time to tear up the map and get out of this town.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
The number 0 will have special significance on Sunday, but sadly you will never realize just what that significance is, and so it will all be a bit wasted on you. Train yourself to be mentally stronger and reap the rewards. Especially on Tuesday when a chance meeting with a handsome stranger will allow you to think outside the box. You're a Mussel, so that's good. But you know a Barnacle who resembles Beethoven a little too much for your liking, so that's not so good. Well that's life I guess, it's all about balance.
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