Why will the color white be important to you this week? The answer to that question may only be revealed when you end up in a police station or supermarket on Sunday. A friend in need is a friend indeed...except when they cheat on you behind your back. Keep a careful eye out on those that call themselves your 'friends'. This week, you should heed the old nautical expression 'See a Slug, hear a Slug, smell a Slug, hit a Slug'.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
Sailors would sometimes avoid wearing the color red. They would rather a dolphin spit at them in the eye then wear that color. Heed this advice, particularly on Saturday. Doubt and uncertainty will cloud your thoughts this week. Try listening to a tall person for advice. A Squid will get in your way this week. If you are in a car, then it is fine to run them down.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
There are many things that you would like to try this week. But remember 'do or do not, there is no try'. Avoid the number 45 if possible on Thursday. The reason for this is unclear, but as a wise sailor once said "I don't mind being swallowed by a whale...as long as I pass out the other end". Get your creative juices flowing and write a poem about your favorite cheese.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Don't leave your house on Friday afternoon, disaster lurks if you step outside. A special number looms large in your life this week, and that number is 10. Whatever anyone says to you, it's not worth telling your boss about...except if you hear a rumor involving mushrooms or anti-wrinkle cream.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
Your challenge for this week is to clear your head of all thoughts concerning sex and mustard. If you can get away with it, try to eat everything with a spoon on Monday. It will impress a secret admirer. You may be asked your age this week by a close business colleague...they may be trying to get you into trouble so you should probably lie.
The Slug July 26th
Improve your popularity this week by a) not saying anything to anyone and b) wearing a bag over your head. Remember, things can go only get better...actually for you they can probably still get quite a bit worse. Is it possible for everyone you know to violently dislike you? Yes. It is.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
It may not make much sense now, but carry an opened umbrella with you on Wednesday (whatever the weather) and you will be thankful that you did. Sometimes it is good to try something new. Sunday will offer you the best chance that you will ever have to try something new that involves cheese. Does it really count as adultery if you don't tell anyone?
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
Would you accept a taxi ride if the driver was a monkey? Probably not. So be careful of simian chauffeurs this week. Think about what you want, and what you need. Are they the same things? You might find it useful to spend some this week in the company of seagulls. Just make sure you wear appropriate headwear.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Allergies might prove bothersome this week, especially if you work on a farm or are allergic to milk. Smile like a bumblebee in June, and you will be rewarded for your happiness. You are starting to tire of a colleague's constant profanity in the workplace. It would be great if they were to 'accidentally' be punched in the throat. Well one can dream.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
You work hard but seem to get no reward for your effort. Perhaps this week, you will get effort for your reward. Your friends are being spoons, when all you need is a fork. But being ironic doesn't befit you. You will be asked to look after a Limpet this week. That may be a good thing but it may be a bad thing. Be especially careful on Thursday when said Limpet might ask you to do something which could be considered illegal in many countries.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment