The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
A hairy man (or woman) will provide you with a bristly problem this week. Eat well, sleep well, and make sure you put the cat out because you will need a lot of energy to get through this week. This might be the week where some vegetarian friends taunt you for not being a 'true' Mollusk. The best way of dealing with these people is to slip some goat blood into their coffee, and then taunt them for not being 'true' vegetarians.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
Hold a dinner party on Tuesday, but don't invite anyone...that will show them! Embarrassment will loom rather large in your life this week as you are very likely to catch your boss in a somewhat compromising situation involving a small animal and some rubber tubing. This is a good time in your life to focus on the things that you really, really, want. Especially if those things involve eggs, cheese, or other dairy products.
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
Take a loved one on a surprise vacation this week and they will be very appreciative, especially if you take them overseas. This is a great week for trying something completely new such as listening to jazz, ballroom dancing, or invading a neighboring country. If you are not in the spotlight this week, then you bloody well should be.
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
Don't do things that you don't want to do, unless you do want to do the things that you think that you don't want to do. If you see anybody this week who looks like Alfred Hitchcock, you should immediately ask them for the time, but only if their watch is on their right wrist. You have a few personal problems at the moment and you might feel that you should turn to a colleague for advice. But asking a Slug for advice is like stepping into a bath full of kerosene and then lighting a firework.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
Should you find yourself in a casino this week, then the number 17 might be the key to a little financial surprise (the surprise might involve the words 'your credit card is no longer valid' so be careful). Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. It's a happy week! Try applying for a passport using a false identity. It might not work, you might be arrested, but it might be fun trying.
The Slug
July 26th
You will receive a call this week with fantastic news about a possible love interest. Unfortunately, it will be a wrong number. One more week on the planet, means another week of learning and discovery; it also means that you're one week closer to your death. You have nothing to offer anyone this week, so it's business as usual.
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
The numbers 6 or 9 (or possibly 28) hold the key to happiness this week. If you have a pet llama, then you should try to avoid wearing red on Friday. This may seem an unreasonable request, but you really want the violent and bloody death of an innocent llama on your conscience? Ever get stuck in an elevator with a Barnacle? Well be prepared for that eventuality on Tuesday. Also be prepared for a very bad body odor problem.
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
Are olives really 'the Devil's grape'? This is the week where you will find out. Why do you do what you think you should do when you don't do what you don't think that you should do? Your sex-life could be greatly improved by judicious use of peanut butter this week. Naturally, 'Crunchy' would be better than 'Smooth'.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
Nobody seems to recognize your genius. You are a jumbo shrimp in a sea of Clams. Others will spend this week trying to think outside the box. Show them your true genius by turning the box inside out and then thinking inside it. The letters F, Y, and K will all be very important to you this week, especially in conjunction with a Scallop wearing purple. Be especially cautious if they offer you a hot-dog, but don't offer you any mustard.
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
It could be a good time this week to heed the warning 'Clams, fireworks, and alcohol do not mix well'. Now is a good time to live life in the fast lane and be daring and bold. Try wearing one less item of clothing than usual. What you lack in wisdom, you make up for in strength. So maybe this is a good week to settle an argument with a fist fight.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 21st March 2011
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
A ship needs a rudder, a ship needs a captain, and a ship needs appropriate health and safety information. Who is the captain of your ship, and who has their hand on the rudder? And most importantly, do you have a life-jacket? A CD will be released this week, a CD that you have been waiting a long time to see. You must never buy this CD. If you buy it, you will become more unpopular than you can possibly imagine. You may want to keep a fellow Clam close to your side on Thursday.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
Eat well, sleep well, and make sure you put the cat out because you will need a lot of energy to get through this week. A little rodent problem will cause you a major headache this week. Who knew that rats liked ice-cream? You generally don't get on with Barnacles, but if you meet one on Friday who looks at all like James Dean, then you should kiss them without hesitation.
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
You've always wanted to try drinking a pint of raw eggs...now is the time to try. Mishearing the phrase 'Mass perturbation' will prove your undoing this week. Have your excuses at the ready. You will bump into a Mussel on Thursday. They will not know you, and you will not know them. You will not talk to them, and they will not talk to you. But it is a meeting of profound importance to your life and career.
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
A man connected with the number 88 will potentially have a healing effect on your 'little problem' that's been bothering you. If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. You may have heard of the question 'How many Limpets does it take to change a light bulb?', but have you heard of the question 'How many Limpets does it take to change a pacemaker?'. You will this week.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
You are being driven mad by driving. Don't get mad, get even. Belief is the key to your problems this week. Belief in the power of a burning flame. Belief in the strength that can only come from catching three green lights in a row. Belief in the proverb that 'Even a lost penguin will find its way home'. It's time to believe. If you have to lie about your age, height, weight, or gender this week, then it's probably for the best.
The Slug
July 26th
You know the old saying 'Don't worry, be happy'? Well you will worry, and you won't be happy. Such is the life of a Slug. This week your colleagues will be trying to heed the words of the old nautical expression 'If you see a Slug, run for your lives'. There will be good news on Wednesday this week. However, it will turn out to be very bad news by Friday.
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
Why do you do what you think you should do when you don't do what you don't think that you should do? If your boss offers to take you out for a drink this week you should gently decline...unless you want to contract a 'downstairs' disease and be involved in an unpleasant (and protracted) divorce settlement. Is is really vanity if you pay to put an advert in a national newspaper to point out to everyone how beautiful you are?
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
If you are driving and you see someone who looks like Louis Pasteur driving a blue car, then it is time to leave town immediately otherwise you will be associated with a very bad smell for many months. The next time that you play poker, you should bet everything you have whenever you see a two and fold whenever you see an ace. This might not actually help you that much but it will keep everybody else on their toes. Squids are all around you this week. Try not to get smothered in their tentacles. One Squid in particular will try to make romantic advances towards you. If you can't smell their hideous body odor, then you are a perfect match. If you can, then you are not.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
Up, up, up, up, up, up! That's the direction your life will be heading in this week (terms and conditions may apply). This is a good time to reflect on all the things that you are not. For example, you are not an elephant, nor are you an electric toaster. When a Squid and an Octopus meet it's full-on tentacle action. So if you are out and about on Wednesday, then make sure you take enough moisturizer.
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
A trip to the dry-cleaners could provide the impetus you have been looking for to kick-start your business plans. A cucumber, a pneumatic drill, and a skateboard. Two of these three items will not give you a major headache this week. To be on the safe side, arrive 5 hours early for your special work meeting this week.
December 2nd - February 19th
A ship needs a rudder, a ship needs a captain, and a ship needs appropriate health and safety information. Who is the captain of your ship, and who has their hand on the rudder? And most importantly, do you have a life-jacket? A CD will be released this week, a CD that you have been waiting a long time to see. You must never buy this CD. If you buy it, you will become more unpopular than you can possibly imagine. You may want to keep a fellow Clam close to your side on Thursday.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
Eat well, sleep well, and make sure you put the cat out because you will need a lot of energy to get through this week. A little rodent problem will cause you a major headache this week. Who knew that rats liked ice-cream? You generally don't get on with Barnacles, but if you meet one on Friday who looks at all like James Dean, then you should kiss them without hesitation.
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
You've always wanted to try drinking a pint of raw eggs...now is the time to try. Mishearing the phrase 'Mass perturbation' will prove your undoing this week. Have your excuses at the ready. You will bump into a Mussel on Thursday. They will not know you, and you will not know them. You will not talk to them, and they will not talk to you. But it is a meeting of profound importance to your life and career.
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
A man connected with the number 88 will potentially have a healing effect on your 'little problem' that's been bothering you. If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. You may have heard of the question 'How many Limpets does it take to change a light bulb?', but have you heard of the question 'How many Limpets does it take to change a pacemaker?'. You will this week.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
You are being driven mad by driving. Don't get mad, get even. Belief is the key to your problems this week. Belief in the power of a burning flame. Belief in the strength that can only come from catching three green lights in a row. Belief in the proverb that 'Even a lost penguin will find its way home'. It's time to believe. If you have to lie about your age, height, weight, or gender this week, then it's probably for the best.
The Slug
July 26th
You know the old saying 'Don't worry, be happy'? Well you will worry, and you won't be happy. Such is the life of a Slug. This week your colleagues will be trying to heed the words of the old nautical expression 'If you see a Slug, run for your lives'. There will be good news on Wednesday this week. However, it will turn out to be very bad news by Friday.
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
Why do you do what you think you should do when you don't do what you don't think that you should do? If your boss offers to take you out for a drink this week you should gently decline...unless you want to contract a 'downstairs' disease and be involved in an unpleasant (and protracted) divorce settlement. Is is really vanity if you pay to put an advert in a national newspaper to point out to everyone how beautiful you are?
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
If you are driving and you see someone who looks like Louis Pasteur driving a blue car, then it is time to leave town immediately otherwise you will be associated with a very bad smell for many months. The next time that you play poker, you should bet everything you have whenever you see a two and fold whenever you see an ace. This might not actually help you that much but it will keep everybody else on their toes. Squids are all around you this week. Try not to get smothered in their tentacles. One Squid in particular will try to make romantic advances towards you. If you can't smell their hideous body odor, then you are a perfect match. If you can, then you are not.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
Up, up, up, up, up, up! That's the direction your life will be heading in this week (terms and conditions may apply). This is a good time to reflect on all the things that you are not. For example, you are not an elephant, nor are you an electric toaster. When a Squid and an Octopus meet it's full-on tentacle action. So if you are out and about on Wednesday, then make sure you take enough moisturizer.
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
A trip to the dry-cleaners could provide the impetus you have been looking for to kick-start your business plans. A cucumber, a pneumatic drill, and a skateboard. Two of these three items will not give you a major headache this week. To be on the safe side, arrive 5 hours early for your special work meeting this week.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 14th March 2011
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
They say that 'you are what you eat'. But what if you are a cannibal and ate someone famous...would you become that person? A friend in need is a friend indeed...except when they cheat on you behind your back. Keep a careful eye out on those that call themselves your 'friends'. Beware an advance from a Limpet this week. They will cling to you like an alcoholic clings to a bottle of cheap whiskey.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
Making more room for music this week will ease current frustrations. The more avant-garde the music the better, and 50's Jazz will particularly prove helpful. Your week will become focused around @day, when the the number 54, the color green and someone who has a connection to Thomas Edison will potentially change your life, or maybe just your bank balance. This is a good time in your life to focus on the things that you really, really, want. Especially if those things involve eggs, cheese, or other dairy products.
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
If your boss offers to take you out for a drink this week you should gently decline...unless you want to contract a 'downstairs' disease and be involved in an unpleasant (and protracted) divorce settlement. There may be times this week when you will wonder if you will ever make it to Friday unscathed. If you survive until Thursday evening, then you will be fine. A Clam in your immediate family will cause trouble by revealing all about your dark secret involving the hamster.
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
Take a deep breath and think to yourself 'Is this really who I am?'. If the answer is 'no', then be afraid, very afraid. If you stayed in bed all week...maybe nobody would know that you were missing. You have an Octopus pal who will need of a shoulder to cry on this week. They are in the wrong, they did the wrong thing, and it will turn out all wrong, but you probably won't want to mention any of that.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
The current problems with your job are partially due to the monotony that surrounds you. Kick start your career by doing something to shock your colleagues and show them your inner beast. Tell a loved one that you love them this week. Also tell someone you hate that you hate them. Life is all about balance. Throw yourself into the (many) arms of an Octopus this week and you will find out whether what they say about an Octopus in an elevator is true.
The Slug
July 26th
Want some advice? Trying to be popular is never going to work. An alternative solution would be to crawl under a large rock and stay there. One more week on the planet, means another week of learning and discovery; it also means that you're one week closer to your death. Do you remember that when you were young, that your parents said 'When you grow up, you have the potential to do anything you want to in life'? They were lying. You only have the potential to be a failure.
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
They say that you should never comment on a woman's age. Maybe you should try to do it this week to see if that saying still holds true. The next time that you play poker, you should bet everything you have whenever you see a two and fold whenever you see an ace. This might not actually help you that much but it will keep everybody else on their toes. If the level of your confidence was a country, it would be Australia.
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
Smile like a bumblebee in June, and you will be rewarded for your happiness. Sailors would sometimes avoid wearing the color pink. They would rather a dolphin spit at them in the eye then wear that color. Heed this advice, particularly on Wednesday. You might find it useful to spend some this week in the company of seagulls. Just make sure you wear appropriate headwear.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
Your friends are being spoons, when all you need is a fork. But being ironic doesn't befit you. If you should happen to bump into anyone who looks like Carl Sagan, then this is a good omen. You should immediately go out and rent 'Pretty in Pink' to watch. It will change your life. If you hear just one more person swear within a 20-foot radius of you, then it is time to tear up the map and get out of this town.
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
A religious fanatic with a speech impediment will cause you much grief this week. A sailor that can't sail is not a sailor. Likewise a thinker that can't think is not a thinker. Are you a sailor or a thinker? You know an Octopus who is almost the perfect person. Polite, charming, attractive, and financially independent. Sadly, you chose to marry their poor, ugly, and alcoholic cousin instead.
December 2nd - February 19th
They say that 'you are what you eat'. But what if you are a cannibal and ate someone famous...would you become that person? A friend in need is a friend indeed...except when they cheat on you behind your back. Keep a careful eye out on those that call themselves your 'friends'. Beware an advance from a Limpet this week. They will cling to you like an alcoholic clings to a bottle of cheap whiskey.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
Making more room for music this week will ease current frustrations. The more avant-garde the music the better, and 50's Jazz will particularly prove helpful. Your week will become focused around @day, when the the number 54, the color green and someone who has a connection to Thomas Edison will potentially change your life, or maybe just your bank balance. This is a good time in your life to focus on the things that you really, really, want. Especially if those things involve eggs, cheese, or other dairy products.
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
If your boss offers to take you out for a drink this week you should gently decline...unless you want to contract a 'downstairs' disease and be involved in an unpleasant (and protracted) divorce settlement. There may be times this week when you will wonder if you will ever make it to Friday unscathed. If you survive until Thursday evening, then you will be fine. A Clam in your immediate family will cause trouble by revealing all about your dark secret involving the hamster.
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
Take a deep breath and think to yourself 'Is this really who I am?'. If the answer is 'no', then be afraid, very afraid. If you stayed in bed all week...maybe nobody would know that you were missing. You have an Octopus pal who will need of a shoulder to cry on this week. They are in the wrong, they did the wrong thing, and it will turn out all wrong, but you probably won't want to mention any of that.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
The current problems with your job are partially due to the monotony that surrounds you. Kick start your career by doing something to shock your colleagues and show them your inner beast. Tell a loved one that you love them this week. Also tell someone you hate that you hate them. Life is all about balance. Throw yourself into the (many) arms of an Octopus this week and you will find out whether what they say about an Octopus in an elevator is true.
The Slug
July 26th
Want some advice? Trying to be popular is never going to work. An alternative solution would be to crawl under a large rock and stay there. One more week on the planet, means another week of learning and discovery; it also means that you're one week closer to your death. Do you remember that when you were young, that your parents said 'When you grow up, you have the potential to do anything you want to in life'? They were lying. You only have the potential to be a failure.
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
They say that you should never comment on a woman's age. Maybe you should try to do it this week to see if that saying still holds true. The next time that you play poker, you should bet everything you have whenever you see a two and fold whenever you see an ace. This might not actually help you that much but it will keep everybody else on their toes. If the level of your confidence was a country, it would be Australia.
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
Smile like a bumblebee in June, and you will be rewarded for your happiness. Sailors would sometimes avoid wearing the color pink. They would rather a dolphin spit at them in the eye then wear that color. Heed this advice, particularly on Wednesday. You might find it useful to spend some this week in the company of seagulls. Just make sure you wear appropriate headwear.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
Your friends are being spoons, when all you need is a fork. But being ironic doesn't befit you. If you should happen to bump into anyone who looks like Carl Sagan, then this is a good omen. You should immediately go out and rent 'Pretty in Pink' to watch. It will change your life. If you hear just one more person swear within a 20-foot radius of you, then it is time to tear up the map and get out of this town.
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
A religious fanatic with a speech impediment will cause you much grief this week. A sailor that can't sail is not a sailor. Likewise a thinker that can't think is not a thinker. Are you a sailor or a thinker? You know an Octopus who is almost the perfect person. Polite, charming, attractive, and financially independent. Sadly, you chose to marry their poor, ugly, and alcoholic cousin instead.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 7th March 2011
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
The ship of your dreams is sailing down the river of despair. It's time to take hold of the tiller of fate, and steer yourself to the calm waters of your future. If you see anybody this week who looks like John Travolta, you should immediately ask them for the time, but only if their watch is on their right wrist. Watch out for someone saying 'no' to you this week.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. You need to get away from the stress that is currently crushing your spirit. A weekend in an isolation chamber will help you focus. Avoid roller-coasters at all costs on Monday.
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. It's a happy week! This might be the sort of crazy week where you should try to do the exact opposite of what everyone tries to tell you to do. One exception to this would be if anyone tells you to do the opposite of what you would normally do. Meet up with an Oyster for a fun time on Sunday.
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
A special number looms large in your life this week, and that number is 38. The number 25 will be a powerful omen for you this Friday, but only if you are in the possession of some dried fruit. You have an Octopus pal who will need of a shoulder to cry on this week. They are in the wrong, they did the wrong thing, and it will turn out all wrong, but you probably won't want to mention any of that.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
Be careful not to overexert yourself in the kitchen this week. Remember, too many broths spoil the cook. Fish are a big thing in your life at the moment. Catching fish and eating fish are what you are all about. Tell someone that they look great this week...even if they are pig ugly.
The Slug
July 26th
You will be followed about by a bad smell everywhere that you go this week. This is not much of a mystery, the smell is you. Why do you try so hard, when everything you do fails? If everything goes to plan this week then you will be a very happy Mollusk indeed. Chance are though, that it will fall to pieces...again!
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
A famous sailor once remarked that 'A beached whale is like a boy urinating in a church at a wedding. It doesn't look good, it doesn't smell good, and everyone pretends not to notice, even though they are secretly annoyed. Don't be that beached whale. The numbers 6 or 9 (or possibly 28) hold the key to happiness this week. This week, if you meet a Squid that looks at all like Thomas Jefferson then you might be in for some fun times. If however, you meet a Squid that resembles Tiger Woods, then you will almost certainly become violently ill before the end of the week.
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
As the old saying goes 'You can hide a shrimp under a shell, but it's still a shrimp, just a shrimp under a shell'. Heed these words this week, especially if you have any run-ins with the police. It may not make much sense now, but carry an opened umbrella with you on Wednesday (whatever the weather) and you will be thankful that you did. If someone offers you any food this week, then beware! It might be spiked with pepper. You should no longer trust this person, even if you are married to them.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
If you have a cat, then consider also getting a dog. If you have a dog, then consider getting a cat. If you already have a cat and a dog, then have you ever thought about owning a moose? Should you wear pink on Tuesday? No, but you'll do it anyway because you have no sense of fashion. You are starting to tire of a colleague's constant profanity in the workplace. It would be great if they were to 'accidentally' be punched in the throat. Well one can dream.
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
Even a tiny fly can stop a bullet, if its wings are made of steel. However, your wings are more likely to be made of damp cardboard, which might not be so effective. This is a good week to set sail on a new voyage of discovery and adventure...unless you are feeling tired, in which case you should stay at home. What you lack in wisdom, you make up for in strength. So maybe this is a good week to settle an argument with a fist fight.
December 2nd - February 19th
The ship of your dreams is sailing down the river of despair. It's time to take hold of the tiller of fate, and steer yourself to the calm waters of your future. If you see anybody this week who looks like John Travolta, you should immediately ask them for the time, but only if their watch is on their right wrist. Watch out for someone saying 'no' to you this week.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. You need to get away from the stress that is currently crushing your spirit. A weekend in an isolation chamber will help you focus. Avoid roller-coasters at all costs on Monday.
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. It's a happy week! This might be the sort of crazy week where you should try to do the exact opposite of what everyone tries to tell you to do. One exception to this would be if anyone tells you to do the opposite of what you would normally do. Meet up with an Oyster for a fun time on Sunday.
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
A special number looms large in your life this week, and that number is 38. The number 25 will be a powerful omen for you this Friday, but only if you are in the possession of some dried fruit. You have an Octopus pal who will need of a shoulder to cry on this week. They are in the wrong, they did the wrong thing, and it will turn out all wrong, but you probably won't want to mention any of that.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
Be careful not to overexert yourself in the kitchen this week. Remember, too many broths spoil the cook. Fish are a big thing in your life at the moment. Catching fish and eating fish are what you are all about. Tell someone that they look great this week...even if they are pig ugly.
The Slug
July 26th
You will be followed about by a bad smell everywhere that you go this week. This is not much of a mystery, the smell is you. Why do you try so hard, when everything you do fails? If everything goes to plan this week then you will be a very happy Mollusk indeed. Chance are though, that it will fall to pieces...again!
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
A famous sailor once remarked that 'A beached whale is like a boy urinating in a church at a wedding. It doesn't look good, it doesn't smell good, and everyone pretends not to notice, even though they are secretly annoyed. Don't be that beached whale. The numbers 6 or 9 (or possibly 28) hold the key to happiness this week. This week, if you meet a Squid that looks at all like Thomas Jefferson then you might be in for some fun times. If however, you meet a Squid that resembles Tiger Woods, then you will almost certainly become violently ill before the end of the week.
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
As the old saying goes 'You can hide a shrimp under a shell, but it's still a shrimp, just a shrimp under a shell'. Heed these words this week, especially if you have any run-ins with the police. It may not make much sense now, but carry an opened umbrella with you on Wednesday (whatever the weather) and you will be thankful that you did. If someone offers you any food this week, then beware! It might be spiked with pepper. You should no longer trust this person, even if you are married to them.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
If you have a cat, then consider also getting a dog. If you have a dog, then consider getting a cat. If you already have a cat and a dog, then have you ever thought about owning a moose? Should you wear pink on Tuesday? No, but you'll do it anyway because you have no sense of fashion. You are starting to tire of a colleague's constant profanity in the workplace. It would be great if they were to 'accidentally' be punched in the throat. Well one can dream.
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
Even a tiny fly can stop a bullet, if its wings are made of steel. However, your wings are more likely to be made of damp cardboard, which might not be so effective. This is a good week to set sail on a new voyage of discovery and adventure...unless you are feeling tired, in which case you should stay at home. What you lack in wisdom, you make up for in strength. So maybe this is a good week to settle an argument with a fist fight.
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