The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
This week you will be tired. Tired of work. Tired of family and friends. Tired of life. However, you will sleep soundly. Remember the saying: you can squeeze the life out of a kitten, but a kitten can't squeeze the life out of you. This week, you should heed the old nautical expression 'See a Slug, hear a Slug, smell a Slug, hit a Slug'.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
Running away from things will not help problems this week. Neither will staying where you are. Life is good at the moment, so be careful not to ruin it all becoming addicted to gambling. If you were a shrimp then you would be an outcast among your Mollusk friends. But you are no shrimp, you are a Snail, and don't you ever forget it!
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
On Sunday you will learn the important difference between a large ukulele and a small guitar. Belief is the key to your problems this week. Belief in the power of a burning flame. Belief in the strength that can only come from catching three green lights in a row. Belief in the proverb that 'Even a lost penguin will find its way home'. It's time to believe. When a Slug comes calling at your door, asking for a little financial favor, tell them in no uncertain terms: "You are a poor excuse for a mollusk, and I would rather force-feed myself to a shark than lend you any money".
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. Are you a lion or a mouse? Now is the time to nail your colors to the flag and decide whether you can squeak or roar. There is an old saying that goes something like this: 'A Clam, a Clam, a Clam! All I need is a Clam...but a Barnacle might be ok as well'. Heed this warning on Monday.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
Fish are a big thing in your life at the moment. Catching fish and eating fish are what you are all about. A foreign fish will play an exciting role in your life this week. This might be a very important week for your career, especially if you carry a jar of mustard with you everywhere you go.
The Slug
July 26th
Did you know that 'Slug' is very nearly an anagram of 'ugly'. This is quite fitting as your grim features are enough to put a dying dog off its food. If everything goes to plan this week then you will be a very happy Mollusk indeed. Chance are though, that it will fall to pieces...again! The sound of thunder will hang over you until you can put a smile on your face. As you are one of the most miserable people around, this may not be easy.
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
Try experiencing the quirkier side of life when you next read a book by only reading the odd-numbered pages. Up, up, up, up, up, up! That's the direction your life will be heading in this week (terms and conditions may apply). How many times do you get a Mussel trying to chat you up over a drink and a hot dog? Well this is the week where a Mussel with a point to prove will try to ply you with hot dogs and beer. Just go easy on the mustard!
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
Love is all around you this week. You will feel it in your fingers. You will feel it in your toes. Even when everything is going wrong, and it will go wrong this week, just be thankful that you're not Mr. Rogers, Your sex-life could be greatly improved by judicious use of peanut butter this week. Naturally, 'Crunchy' would be better than 'Smooth'.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you content? Are you restless? The answers to 3 of these questions will not be revealed this week. If there was ever a week to shut the curtains, stay in bed, and hide under the duvet like a frightened kitten, then this is the week...unless you need to go out. Given the choice, you might think that you would have preferred to be born as C. G. Jung, but the reality is that you would end up spending a lot more money on lubrication products.
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
Avoid photographs this week if you think that your illicit affair may be caught on camera. Your enemies are plotting against you. Ignore them, what's the worse that could happen? You might get some advice about this week from a Scallop about which orifice is most suitable for a particular pursuit that you might try on Wednesday. Please get a second opinion from someone else before you embark on said pursuit.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 22nd August 2011
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
There is a very old tradition that Sailors used to follow when leaving home before embarking on a long voyage. Urinate on three things that you love, and spit on three things that you hate. Only this will ensure a safe trip. Heed these words before undertaking any business travel this week. A man connected with the number 85 will potentially have a healing effect on your 'little problem' that's been bothering you. A old Snail associate will cross your path this week...very slowly. Be patient, this Snail will provide you with much needed culinary relief.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
Should you find yourself in a casino this week, then the number 7 might be the key to a little financial surprise (the surprise might involve the words 'your credit card is no longer valid' so be careful). If you have a cat, then consider also getting a dog. If you have a dog, then consider getting a cat. If you already have a cat and a dog, then have you ever thought about owning a moose? Avoid roller-coasters at all costs on Wednesday.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Running away from things will not help problems this week. Neither will staying where you are. Your friends are being spoons, when all you need is a fork. But being ironic doesn't befit you. You will bump into a Mussel on Wednesday. They will not know you, and you will not know them. You will not talk to them, and they will not talk to you. But it is a meeting of profound importance to your life and career.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Which one of these will you be this week? Friday afternoon (about 3:15) is the time for making a big decision about your life. Hook up with a Squid this week in order to relieve those bedroom tensions. Try to avoid using tinned fruit though.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
This week you will be tired. Tired of work. Tired of family and friends. Tired of life. However, you will sleep soundly. Big developments will occur in the bedroom this week. Make sure your sheets are clean. You will see a Slug in trouble this week. You will not care. You are the better Mollusk.
The Slug July 26th
You have tried so hard, and accomplished so little. Now is the time to give up. It's a tough life being a Slug. Nobody likes you, nobody wants to be around you, and nobody can stand your personal hygiene
problems. Are you just misunderstood? Actually, no. Happiness. Joy. Financial success. Just another three things that you will not experience this week.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
This is a week that is much less about who you are, but much more about who you could be. You are a kitten but you want to be a tiger. Become the tiger! Others will spend this week trying to think outside the box. Show them your true genius by turning the box inside out and then thinking inside it. Ever get stuck in an elevator with a Barnacle? Well be prepared for that eventuality on Wednesday. Also be prepared for a very bad body odor problem.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
There is a 32% probability that someone who looks like Julia Roberts will shower you with unusual gifts on Wednesday. This will only happen though if you are wearing purple Hold a dinner party on Monday, but don't invite anyone...that will show them! A stupid Clam friend that you know will prove very bothersome on Thursday. Just ignore them. Unless they start removing clothes in which case you should just run away.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Dietary choices may be important this week. Consider avoiding foods that are green or yellow in color. A friend in need is a friend indeed...except when they cheat on you behind your back. Keep a careful eye out on those that call themselves your 'friends'. When you and a Limpet get together on Friday, sparks will literally fly. That's what you get when a chance encounter with a welder goes horribly wrong.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Avoid the number 2 if possible on Sunday. The reason for this is unclear, but as a wise sailor once said "I don't mind being swallowed by a whale...as long as I pass out the other end". A ship needs a rudder, a ship needs a captain, and a ship needs appropriate health and safety information. Who is the captain of your ship, and who has their hand on the rudder? And most importantly, do you have a life-jacket? You will be asked to look after a Limpet this week. That may be a good thing but it may be a bad thing. Be especially careful on Monday when said Limpet might ask you to do something which could be considered illegal in many countries.
There is a very old tradition that Sailors used to follow when leaving home before embarking on a long voyage. Urinate on three things that you love, and spit on three things that you hate. Only this will ensure a safe trip. Heed these words before undertaking any business travel this week. A man connected with the number 85 will potentially have a healing effect on your 'little problem' that's been bothering you. A old Snail associate will cross your path this week...very slowly. Be patient, this Snail will provide you with much needed culinary relief.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
Should you find yourself in a casino this week, then the number 7 might be the key to a little financial surprise (the surprise might involve the words 'your credit card is no longer valid' so be careful). If you have a cat, then consider also getting a dog. If you have a dog, then consider getting a cat. If you already have a cat and a dog, then have you ever thought about owning a moose? Avoid roller-coasters at all costs on Wednesday.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Running away from things will not help problems this week. Neither will staying where you are. Your friends are being spoons, when all you need is a fork. But being ironic doesn't befit you. You will bump into a Mussel on Wednesday. They will not know you, and you will not know them. You will not talk to them, and they will not talk to you. But it is a meeting of profound importance to your life and career.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Which one of these will you be this week? Friday afternoon (about 3:15) is the time for making a big decision about your life. Hook up with a Squid this week in order to relieve those bedroom tensions. Try to avoid using tinned fruit though.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
This week you will be tired. Tired of work. Tired of family and friends. Tired of life. However, you will sleep soundly. Big developments will occur in the bedroom this week. Make sure your sheets are clean. You will see a Slug in trouble this week. You will not care. You are the better Mollusk.
The Slug July 26th
You have tried so hard, and accomplished so little. Now is the time to give up. It's a tough life being a Slug. Nobody likes you, nobody wants to be around you, and nobody can stand your personal hygiene
problems. Are you just misunderstood? Actually, no. Happiness. Joy. Financial success. Just another three things that you will not experience this week.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
This is a week that is much less about who you are, but much more about who you could be. You are a kitten but you want to be a tiger. Become the tiger! Others will spend this week trying to think outside the box. Show them your true genius by turning the box inside out and then thinking inside it. Ever get stuck in an elevator with a Barnacle? Well be prepared for that eventuality on Wednesday. Also be prepared for a very bad body odor problem.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
There is a 32% probability that someone who looks like Julia Roberts will shower you with unusual gifts on Wednesday. This will only happen though if you are wearing purple Hold a dinner party on Monday, but don't invite anyone...that will show them! A stupid Clam friend that you know will prove very bothersome on Thursday. Just ignore them. Unless they start removing clothes in which case you should just run away.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Dietary choices may be important this week. Consider avoiding foods that are green or yellow in color. A friend in need is a friend indeed...except when they cheat on you behind your back. Keep a careful eye out on those that call themselves your 'friends'. When you and a Limpet get together on Friday, sparks will literally fly. That's what you get when a chance encounter with a welder goes horribly wrong.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Avoid the number 2 if possible on Sunday. The reason for this is unclear, but as a wise sailor once said "I don't mind being swallowed by a whale...as long as I pass out the other end". A ship needs a rudder, a ship needs a captain, and a ship needs appropriate health and safety information. Who is the captain of your ship, and who has their hand on the rudder? And most importantly, do you have a life-jacket? You will be asked to look after a Limpet this week. That may be a good thing but it may be a bad thing. Be especially careful on Monday when said Limpet might ask you to do something which could be considered illegal in many countries.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 15th August
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
You want what you cannot have. You have what you no longer want. Such is life. Are olives really 'the Devil's grape'? This is the week where you will find out. A old Snail associate will cross your path this week...very slowly. Be patient, this Snail will provide you with much needed culinary relief.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
The question everyone will be asking this week is 'are you Miley Cyrus in disguise?'. No, I don't know what this means either. Try experiencing the quirkier side of life when you next read a book by only reading the odd-numbered pages. A Squid will get in your way this week. If you are in a car, then it is fine to run them down.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
You will not meet any world leaders this week. Try to deal with this unsatisfying news by remaining calm and not attacking anyone with a sporting accessory. Sailors would sometimes avoid wearing the color purple. They would rather a dolphin spit at them in the eye then wear that color. Heed this advice, particularly on Monday. Ever been on holiday with a Scallop before? They'll buy you a lot of drinks but they'll expect certain favors in return. You might not like the sound - or the smell - of those favors.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
There are many things that you would like to try this week. But remember 'do or do not, there is no try'. Is there a ray of light at the end of the tunnel? A chance meeting on Thursday with a gynecologist might provide some answers. Hook up with an Octopus on Thursday if you want to see a good time that doesn't involve ambulances.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
This will be a good week for fun, festivities, and especially fashion. Let your clothes do the talking and don't skimp on the accessories. Sunday will be a very bad day for you. A very bad day indeed. You might find true love, you may win a large cash sum, and you may even get a promotion. These minor successes will in no way compensate for the badness of the bad thing that will happen to you though. If you have the time, try to track down a trustworthy Mussel that you know on Thursday. Tell them a big secret and see how trustworthy they really are.
The Slug July 26th
There will be good news on Wednesday this week. However, it will turn out to be very bad news by Friday. Now is not the time to shed a tear. Now is the time to weep uncontrollably. Do you remember that when you were young, that your parents said 'When you grow up, you have the potential to do anything you want to in life'? They were lying. You only have the potential to be a failure.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
A ship needs a rudder, a ship needs a captain, and a ship needs appropriate health and safety information. Who is the captain of your ship, and who has their hand on the rudder? And most importantly, do you have a life-jacket? On Tuesday you will learn the important difference between a large ukulele and a small guitar. Is is really vanity if you pay to put an advert in a national newspaper to point out to everyone how beautiful you are?
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
In a year's time you might consider running a marathon or eating a Snickers bar. Either way, this week is when you should start your preparations. Up for a challenge? Then remove all of the labels from any tins in your house. Meal times will then have an element of surprise and danger about them. Your sex-life could be greatly improved by judicious use of peanut butter this week. Naturally, 'Crunchy' would be better than 'Smooth'.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Indecision will be your undoing this week. You will say yes, only to then say no. You say will 'large iced latte' only to change your mind to a 'small Americano'. You will say 'I do' only to then have second thoughts and run out the church. Computer problems might cause you headaches this week. Best stick to using a pen and paper. If a Snail tries buying your affections by spending vast amounts on money on you, then don't fall for it. It may make you happy, but happiness is not everything...at least not when the Snail in question has spent time inside for attempted manslaughter.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
A trip to the dry-cleaners could provide the impetus you have been looking for to kick-start your business plans. Embarrassment will loom rather large in your life this week as you are very likely to catch your boss in a somewhat compromising situation involving a small animal and some rubber tubing. There is a Squid that you really like. There is a Squid that really likes you. Unfortunately they are half your age and live on the other side of the world.
You want what you cannot have. You have what you no longer want. Such is life. Are olives really 'the Devil's grape'? This is the week where you will find out. A old Snail associate will cross your path this week...very slowly. Be patient, this Snail will provide you with much needed culinary relief.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
The question everyone will be asking this week is 'are you Miley Cyrus in disguise?'. No, I don't know what this means either. Try experiencing the quirkier side of life when you next read a book by only reading the odd-numbered pages. A Squid will get in your way this week. If you are in a car, then it is fine to run them down.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
You will not meet any world leaders this week. Try to deal with this unsatisfying news by remaining calm and not attacking anyone with a sporting accessory. Sailors would sometimes avoid wearing the color purple. They would rather a dolphin spit at them in the eye then wear that color. Heed this advice, particularly on Monday. Ever been on holiday with a Scallop before? They'll buy you a lot of drinks but they'll expect certain favors in return. You might not like the sound - or the smell - of those favors.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
There are many things that you would like to try this week. But remember 'do or do not, there is no try'. Is there a ray of light at the end of the tunnel? A chance meeting on Thursday with a gynecologist might provide some answers. Hook up with an Octopus on Thursday if you want to see a good time that doesn't involve ambulances.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
This will be a good week for fun, festivities, and especially fashion. Let your clothes do the talking and don't skimp on the accessories. Sunday will be a very bad day for you. A very bad day indeed. You might find true love, you may win a large cash sum, and you may even get a promotion. These minor successes will in no way compensate for the badness of the bad thing that will happen to you though. If you have the time, try to track down a trustworthy Mussel that you know on Thursday. Tell them a big secret and see how trustworthy they really are.
The Slug July 26th
There will be good news on Wednesday this week. However, it will turn out to be very bad news by Friday. Now is not the time to shed a tear. Now is the time to weep uncontrollably. Do you remember that when you were young, that your parents said 'When you grow up, you have the potential to do anything you want to in life'? They were lying. You only have the potential to be a failure.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
A ship needs a rudder, a ship needs a captain, and a ship needs appropriate health and safety information. Who is the captain of your ship, and who has their hand on the rudder? And most importantly, do you have a life-jacket? On Tuesday you will learn the important difference between a large ukulele and a small guitar. Is is really vanity if you pay to put an advert in a national newspaper to point out to everyone how beautiful you are?
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
In a year's time you might consider running a marathon or eating a Snickers bar. Either way, this week is when you should start your preparations. Up for a challenge? Then remove all of the labels from any tins in your house. Meal times will then have an element of surprise and danger about them. Your sex-life could be greatly improved by judicious use of peanut butter this week. Naturally, 'Crunchy' would be better than 'Smooth'.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Indecision will be your undoing this week. You will say yes, only to then say no. You say will 'large iced latte' only to change your mind to a 'small Americano'. You will say 'I do' only to then have second thoughts and run out the church. Computer problems might cause you headaches this week. Best stick to using a pen and paper. If a Snail tries buying your affections by spending vast amounts on money on you, then don't fall for it. It may make you happy, but happiness is not everything...at least not when the Snail in question has spent time inside for attempted manslaughter.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
A trip to the dry-cleaners could provide the impetus you have been looking for to kick-start your business plans. Embarrassment will loom rather large in your life this week as you are very likely to catch your boss in a somewhat compromising situation involving a small animal and some rubber tubing. There is a Squid that you really like. There is a Squid that really likes you. Unfortunately they are half your age and live on the other side of the world.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 8th August 2011
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
Do you want to feel like crap every morning? If the answer is no, then try eating walnuts before bedtime. Eat well, sleep well, and make sure you put the cat out because you will need a lot of energy to get through this week. A old Snail associate will cross your path this week...very slowly. Be patient, this Snail will provide you with much needed culinary relief.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
Avoid photographs this week if you think that your illicit affair may be caught on camera. This is a good time to reflect on all the things that you are not. For example, you are not an elephant, nor are you an electric toaster. If you see a Barnacle this week, you should probably hit them. They are always trouble.
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
Are olives really 'the Devil's grape'? This is the week where you will find out. A famous fisherman once noted that while five fish will always feed a family of four, four fish might not feed a family of five. These words will have special meaning for you this week. You will bump into a Mussel on Wednesday. They will not know you, and you will not know them. You will not talk to them, and they will not talk to you. But it is a meeting of profound importance to your life and career.
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
Your friends are being spoons, when all you need is a fork. But being ironic doesn't befit you. You need to get away from the stress that is currently crushing your spirit. A weekend in an isolation chamber will help you focus. Hook up with a Squid this week in order to relieve those bedroom tensions. Try to avoid using tinned fruit though.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
There may be times this week when you will wonder if you will ever make it to Friday unscathed. If you survive until Thursday evening, then you will be fine. Monday holds a great surprise for you, unless you already know about it. Invite a Clam to dinner this week on Wednesday. This will be the one day that they can't make, so easy brownie points for you!
The Slug
July 26th
Your friends will gather closely around you this week, so please take steps to lessen your foul odor. It's a tough life being a Slug. Nobody likes you, nobody wants to be around you, and nobody can stand your personal hygiene problems. Are you just misunderstood? Actually, no. You will be very popular this week and will receive lots of mail. Oh, actually they are all overdue bills as you have forgot to pay off your utility bills...you idiot.
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
Indecision will be your undoing this week. You will say yes, only to then say no. You say will 'large iced latte' only to change your mind to a 'small Americano'. You will say 'I do' only to then have second thoughts and run out the church. Your enemies are plotting against you. Ignore them, what's the worse that could happen? Does it really count as adultery if you don't tell anyone?
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
Even when everything is going wrong, and it will go wrong this week, just be thankful that you're not John Lennon, Your weight, or the weight of someone important around you, may become a discussion point this week. A Clam that you know will try to kill you this week. Well maybe they are just plotting the act at this stage. Actually, they might only be thinking about it. On second thoughts, it's more of a vague intention. So don't worry about it too much. Just be careful around them if they are holding any sharp objects.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
If you have a pet llama, then you should try to avoid wearing red on Saturday. This may seem an unreasonable request, but you really want the violent and bloody death of an innocent llama on your conscience? If you should happen to bump into anyone who looks like Vincent Van Gogh, then this is a good omen. You should immediately go out and rent 'Pretty in Pink' to watch. It will change your life. Someone will swear at you this week. You will not be happy, in fact you will be livid. In these scenarios, physical retribution is only fair.
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
Nobody seems to recognize your genius. You are a jumbo shrimp in a sea of Clams. Tiredness will knock on your door this week, so be prepared to consume vast amounts of energy drinks. You will be asked to look after a Limpet this week. That may be a good thing but it may be a bad thing. Be especially careful on Monday when said Limpet might ask you to do something which could be considered illegal in many countries.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 1st August 2011
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
This will be a good week for fun, festivities, and especially fashion. Let your clothes do the talking and don't skimp on the accessories. Is there a ray of light at the end of the tunnel? A chance meeting on Sunday with a gynecologist might provide some answers. On a good day, a Barnacle and a Clam can be as an effective a double act as Peter Jennings and Tiger Woods.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
Don't look behind you, instead concentrate on what lies ahead. The road that takes you on the longest path is the road that will not take you on the shortest path. Something about the number 66 will drive you crazy this week. Luckily, the impending failure of your recent investments on Friday will keep your mind occupied. You generally don't get on with Barnacles, but if you meet one on Saturday who looks at all like Madonna, then you should kiss them without hesitation.
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
It's no use gazing at the stars if your feet are stuck in the mud. Clean your boots and get your life moving forward again. A trip to the dry-cleaners could provide the impetus you have been looking for to kick-start your business plans. You will bump into a Mussel on Sunday. They will not know you, and you will not know them. You will not talk to them, and they will not talk to you. But it is a meeting of profound importance to your life and career.
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
Friday afternoon (about 3:15) is the time for making a big decision about your life. Try to spend one day this week in silence. Communicate only with gestures or bodily odors. Hook up with an Octopus on Wednesday if you want to see a good time that doesn't involve ambulances.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
A sailor that can't sail is not a sailor. Likewise a thinker that can't think is not a thinker. Are you a sailor or a thinker? Take a deep breath and think to yourself 'Is this really who I am?'. If the answer is 'no', then be afraid, very afraid. If you have the time, try to track down a trustworthy Mussel that you know on Wednesday. Tell them a big secret and see how trustworthy they really are.
The Slug
July 26th
Have you ever truly been happy? Probably not. Now is not the time to shed a tear. Now is the time to weep uncontrollably. Things will be mostly crap for you this week, but on the plus side of things, you will already know exactly what this feels like.
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
Don't take no for an answer, especially when rancid dairy products are involved. A few things to avoid this week if you know what's good for you: cold tea, hot milk, three-legged animals, North Dakota, and books with the word 'fun' in their title. How many times do you get a Mussel trying to chat you up over a drink and a hot dog? Well this is the week where a Mussel with a point to prove will try to ply you with hot dogs and beer. Just go easy on the mustard!
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
Try experiencing the quirkier side of life when you next read a book by only reading the odd-numbered pages. If you have a cat, then consider also getting a dog. If you have a dog, then consider getting a cat. If you already have a cat and a dog, then have you ever thought about owning a moose? A Clam you know will offer to cook for you this week. Be careful, they might have ulterior motives, and they will certainly try spiking your food with Tabasco sauce.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
Numbers will prove problematic for you this week. It could be a birthday or other important date, or it could be the lottery. Step wisely when choosing any number. If someone should happen to comment that you look just a little bit like Mark Twain, then maybe it's time to consider some heavy duty cosmetic surgery. The letters F, Y, and K will all be very important to you this week, especially in conjunction with a Scallop wearing red. Be especially cautious if they offer you a hot-dog, but don't offer you any mustard.
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
Think about what you want, and what you need. Are they the same things? If you are driving and you see someone who looks like Elizabeth Dole driving a yellow car, then it is time to leave town immediately otherwise you will be associated with a very bad smell for many months. A casual comment by a Snail acquaintance of yours might make you think twice before making that important purchase this week. Don't worry. As long as they have it in red, things will turn out just fine.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
