Sunday, October 12, 2008

Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 13th October

The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th

Dietary choices may be important this week. Consider avoiding foods that are green or yellow in color. Friday holds a great surprise for you, unless you already know about it.

The Snail
February 20th - March 9th

A friend in need is a friend indeed...except when they cheat on you behind your back. Keep a careful eye out on those that call themselves your 'friends'. Big developments will occur in the bedroom this week. Make sure your sheets are clean.

The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st

You've always wanted to try drinking a pint of raw is the time to try. You will breathe more deeply this week when things that you want appear on the horizon, in a shimmering cloud.

The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd

This week you will be tired. Tired of work. Tired of family and friends. Tired of life. However, you will sleep soundly. Think of all the great things that might happen to you this week. They may never happen, but at least you're thinking about them.

The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th

A trip to the dry-cleaners could provide the impetus you have been looking for to kick-start your business plans. A forthcoming trip is causing you much stress, Speak to your doctor for advice.

The Slug
July 26th

You have nothing to offer anyone this week, so it's business as usual. You can cry, you can weep, you can rant and rage, you can demand attention. You can do all of these things and more, but the bottom line is that maybe you deserve it.

The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th

If you smoke, then this is a good week to give up. If you don't smoke, then maybe this is a good week to try. Clouds are on the horizon. Storm clouds. Storm clouds that will bring rain, hail, thunder, and lightning. Run away.

The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st

You can dance this week if you think that kicking up your heels will make you happier. By the way, it won't. A special number looms large in your life this week, and that number is 93.

The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th

Ancient mariners used to say that spotting a whale traveling westwards on a Wednesday, meant that you would suffer a bodily discharge on Thursday. Heed these words. You work hard but seem to get no reward for your effort. Perhaps this week, you will get effort for your reward.

The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st

Time to remove the 'us' in fuss and put the 'me' in 'medicate'. You are a genius, only no-one knows it. Maybe you should try telling people.

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