Even a tiny fly can stop a bullet, if its wings are made of steel. However, your wings are more likely to be made of damp cardboard, which might not be so effective. This is a good week to set sail on a new voyage of discovery and adventure...unless you are feeling tired, in which case you should stay at home. A old Snail associate will cross your path this week...very slowly. Be patient, this Snail will provide you with much needed culinary relief.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
You can dance this week if you think that kicking up your heels will make you happier. By the way, it won't. Your friends will tell you that you have to make up your mind regarding your big problem. They will tell you that you must sink or swim. Remember though,that there is a third option. Try to achieve a state of neutral buoyancy. This is certainly a week where if you see a Slug, then you should give them a punch on the chin.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Wedding bells might be ringing this week, but alas these are very, very quiet wedding bells which have had their clappers lined with velvet. You will have to listen very carefully if you want to hear them. When you walk this week, take only tiny steps. It may take you longer to get where you going, but Rome wasn't built in a day. Meet up with an Oyster for a fun time on Saturday.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Sunday afternoon (about 3:15) is the time for making a big decision about your life. Avoid the number 9 if possible on Sunday. The reason for this is unclear, but as a wise sailor once said "I don't mind being swallowed by a whale...as long as I pass out the other end". There is an old saying that goes something like this: 'A Clam, a Clam, a Clam! All I need is a Clam...but a Barnacle might be ok as well'. Heed this warning on Tuesday.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
On Saturday your week will take a turn for the worse when you attract the (unwanted) attentions of a born-again reincarnationist. They will try to claim you as their soul-mate. You should run away. In a year's time you might consider running a marathon or eating a Snickers bar. Either way, this week is when you should start your preparations. If you have the time, try to track down a trustworthy Mussel that you know on Saturday. Tell them a big secret and see how trustworthy they really are.
The Slug July 26th
A long lost family member will appear in your life once again this week. You will be overcome with emotion at meeting up with this person. That is until you find out that they have only tracked you down to ask you for money. This week your colleagues will be trying to heed the words of the old nautical expression 'If you see a Slug, run for your lives'. Life is looking good for you this week...actually, that's not exactly true. More likely, life is looking very bad for you.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Life is good at the moment, so be careful not to ruin it all becoming addicted to gambling. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness. It's a happy week! Other Mollusks would say that 'one-on-one is fun', but you are an Oyster, in which case you should adhere to the 'eight-on-eight is great' school of bedroom philosophy.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
They say that you should never comment on a woman's age. Maybe you should try to do it this week to see if that saying still holds true. Take a loved one on a surprise vacation this week and they will be very appreciative, especially if you take them overseas. A distantly-related Octopus will offer an interesting opportunity to you this week. Whether to accept that offer will depend heavily on a) whether you trust your wife and b) how quickly you are prepared to learn Korean.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
A forthcoming trip is causing you much stress, Speak to your doctor for advice. You will breathe more deeply this week when things that you want appear on the horizon, in a shimmering cloud. If a Snail tries buying your affections by spending vast amounts on money on you, then don't fall for it. It may make you happy, but happiness is not everything...at least not when the Snail in question has spent time inside for attempted manslaughter.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
A famous sailor once said "You can kiss a mermaid, but you might still die of scurvy"...these words will have special significance for you this week. Wear a smile on this week because you cannot fail* and everything you do will turn out to be magical and rewarding (* = terms and conditions may apply). There is a time and a place for everything. This week, that time will more often that not be 8:22 am.
[?2004h
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment