This is a week that is much less about who you are, but much more about who you could be. You are a kitten but you want to be a tiger. Become the tiger! In a year's time you might consider running a marathon or eating a Snickers bar. Either way, this week is when you should start your preparations. Your enemies might tell you that you are not a proper mollusk this week, i.e. that you don't belong in society. Ignore them and you will be more of a mollusk than they could ever be.
A foreign fish will play an exciting role in your life this week. A woman bearing gifts might not be the present-carrying-female that she seems. Be wary if she (if it is a she) tries making you any toast. Stupid is as stupid does, and as stupidity goes, a run in on Monday with a Slug will have you reaching for your gun (metaphorically). Shoot down the Slug (metaphorically speaking) before they shoot down your dreams.
If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. They say that 'you are what you eat'. But what if you are a cannibal and ate someone famous...would you become that person? You will bump into a Mussel on Monday. They will not know you, and you will not know them. You will not talk to them, and they will not talk to you. But it is a meeting of profound importance to your life and career.
Something involving the color pink will be on your mind this week and you are not sure if you need a second opinion about what to do. The solution involves getting a second opinion from a friend as to whether you need to get a second opinion. People will tell you that life can have its ups and downs, but they never tell you to watch out for the sideways. There is an old saying that goes something like this: 'A Clam, a Clam, a Clam! All I need is a Clam...but a Barnacle might be ok as well'. Heed this warning on Wednesday.
A forthcoming trip is causing you much stress, Speak to your doctor for advice. Try experiencing the quirkier side of life when you next read a book by only reading the odd-numbered pages. Invite a Clam to dinner this week on Thursday. This will be the one day that they can't make, so easy brownie points for you!
Do you remember that when you were young, that your parents said 'When you grow up, you have the potential to do anything you want to in life'? They were lying. You only have the potential to be a failure. Happiness. Joy. Financial success. Just another three things that you will not experience this week. You will be followed about by a bad smell everywhere that you go this week. This is not much of a mystery, the smell is you.
Do you want to feel like crap every morning? If the answer is no, then try eating walnuts before bedtime. Your enemies are plotting against you. Ignore them, what's the worse that could happen? Invite a Squid over this week for some mollusk-on-mollusk action.
Should you find yourself in a casino this week, then the number 54 might be the key to a little financial surprise (the surprise might involve the words 'your credit card is no longer valid' so be careful). A famous sailor once remarked that 'A beached whale is like a boy urinating in a church at a wedding. It doesn't look good, it doesn't smell good, and everyone pretends not to notice, even though they are secretly annoyed. Don't be that beached whale. Take a Scallop and a Snail. Two very similar Mollusks who are also so entirely different. On Monday you will find out just how similar or different you are when you will be inadvertently stuck in a toilet cubicle with said Snail.
Computer problems might cause you headaches this week. Best stick to using a pen and paper. Your weight, or the weight of someone important around you, may become a discussion point this week. When you and a Limpet get together on Monday, sparks will literally fly. That's what you get when a chance encounter with a welder goes horribly wrong.
Are you a lion or a mouse? Now is the time to nail your colors to the flag and decide whether you can squeak or roar. Tiredness will knock on your door this week, so be prepared to consume vast amounts of energy drinks. Tick tock, someone will be running late for a meeting with you. They are lazy fools.
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