Belief is the key to your problems this week. Belief in the power of a burning flame. Belief in the strength that can only come from catching three green lights in a row. Belief in the proverb that 'Even a lost penguin will find its way home'. It's time to believe. Walk briskly this week, because the winds of opposition will try to slow you down. Break through the winds to achieve success, only by breaking wind will you find happiness. Your enemies might tell you that you are not a proper mollusk this week, i.e. that you don't belong in society. Ignore them and you will be more of a mollusk than they could ever be.
Think of all the great things that might happen to you this week. They may never happen, but at least you're thinking about them. This might be the sort of crazy week where you should try to do the exact opposite of what everyone tries to tell you to do. One exception to this would be if anyone tells you to do the opposite of what you would normally do. Watch out for a Barnacle in a hurry on Friday. If you time it correctly, you will only end up with a small stain to show for their clumsiness. If you get your timing wrong however, you might be facing a stay in the hospital and you won't be eating solids for a long time.
If there was ever a week to shut the curtains, stay in bed, and hide under the duvet like a frightened kitten, then this is the week...unless you need to go out. If you make an appointment on Thursday then it will be cancelled, delayed or postponed. The trick will therefore be to make the appointment for a day that you can't make. Ever been on holiday with a Scallop before? They'll buy you a lot of drinks but they'll expect certain favors in return. You might not like the sound - or the smell - of those favors.
The color red will be very important to you this week. Especially on Friday, and when connected to the number 65, and if tomato juice is involved, then let's just say that it will be a day to remember. You've set your sights high this week, but as the Chinese proverb warns us 'rain always dampens an egg buried in the ground'. Hook up with an Octopus on Saturday if you want to see a good time that doesn't involve ambulances.
Don't look behind you, instead concentrate on what lies ahead. The road that takes you on the longest path is the road that will not take you on the shortest path. You think that someone is out to get you, you think that they want to see you squashed like a bug. You are wrong. They are wrong. Everyone is wrong. If a Barnacle, Oyster, or Mussel says anything to you at all this week, don't believe them.
You will be followed about by a bad smell everywhere that you go this week. This is not much of a mystery, the smell is you. Just give up making any sort of plans this week. They will all fail so best stay in bed. It's ok, your complete failure to achieve anything of significance in life is not entirely your fault...oh wait a minute, yes it is.
You will breathe more deeply this week when things that you want appear on the horizon, in a shimmering cloud. Now is a good time to live life in the fast lane and be daring and bold. Try wearing one less item of clothing than usual. Does it really count as adultery if you don't tell anyone?
You will be troubled by two legs on Tuesday and four legs on Friday. You can dance this week if you think that kicking up your heels will make you happier. By the way, it won't. The best thing you can do to help a Slug in trouble this week is remind them what a failure they are and that you would help, only they will probably be in trouble again next week so why bother?
Ancient mariners used to say that spotting a whale traveling westwards on a Wednesday, meant that you would suffer a bodily discharge on Thursday. Heed these words. If you spot a dead whale (or other cetacean) this week, then beware! This is an omen, an omen of death...or possibly a big sale at your local fish market. The letters F, Y, and K will all be very important to you this week, especially in conjunction with a Scallop wearing blue. Be especially cautious if they offer you a hot-dog, but don't offer you any mustard.
A famous sailor once remarked 'Life is like jumping overboard without knowing how to swim. You will drown. We all drown. Such is life'. Apply this philosophy to your sales presentation on Saturday this week. If you start reading a new book this week, but skip over every seventh page, it will lead to an unsatisfying conclusion but you will get the book read that much faster. You know an Octopus who is almost the perfect person. Polite, charming, attractive, and financially independent. Sadly, you chose to marry their poor, ugly, and alcoholic cousin instead.
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