The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
There is no difference between what you can do and what you think you can do. The only difference is in your mind, or what you think is in your mind. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. The more you finish, the more just keeps piling up on your desk. The solution to your office stress is to buy a box of matches...the rest will become obvious. This is the time to leap to the aid of a Scallop that you work with. They will not thank you for your actions, they may well come to despise you for what you do, but it still needs to be done.
The Snail
February 20th - March 9th
If you were a vegetable, you'd probably be a tomato. Watch that you don't get squashed this week. The question everyone will be asking this week is 'are you Billy Crystal in disguise?'. No, I don't know what this means either. When a Snail and an Oyster meet, it is a bit like finding a dead animal in your washing machine. However much you try, the smell just won't go away.
The Limpet
March 10th - May 1st
A famous fisherman once noted that while five fish will always feed a family of four, four fish might not feed a family of five. These words will have special meaning for you this week. Allergies might prove bothersome this week, especially if you work on a farm or are allergic to milk. Get your friends to form a circle around you, then they can clap and cheer at your brilliance.
The Clam
May 2nd - June 2nd
Sailors would sometimes avoid wearing the color yellow. They would rather a dolphin spit at them in the eye then wear that color. Heed this advice, particularly on Saturday. A friend in need is a friend indeed...except when they cheat on you behind your back. Keep a careful eye out on those that call themselves your 'friends'. Hook up with a Squid this week in order to relieve those bedroom tensions. Try to avoid using tinned fruit though.
The Squid
June 3rd - July 25th
This week will see you face many important questions. It is important that you answer those questions. They say that 'you are what you eat'. But what if you are a cannibal and ate someone famous...would you become that person? Limpets, Limpets everywhere, but not a drop of love to spare. Well this might be the case for you on Thursday when a rabid, potentially-drunk Limpet will cause plenty of trouble for you.
The Slug
July 26th
A friend will come to you seek your advice on a sensitive subject this week. They will also come to deeply regret asking you about anything because your advice sucks. Is it possible for everyone you know to violently dislike you? Yes. It is. Your miserable existence will take a further turn for the worse this week, so be prepared to sink to new lows.
The Oyster
July 27th - August 19th
Up, up, up, up, up, up! That's the direction your life will be heading in this week (terms and conditions may apply). Now is a good time to live life in the fast lane and be daring and bold. Try wearing one less item of clothing than usual. Ever hear the joke about the Oyster and the Snail who lived next door to each other. They drove each other to drink. Then they drove each other to hard drugs. Then they became the best of friends and started playing Scrabble together on a regular basis. Let that be a lesson to you (if you live next door to any Snails).
The Scallop
August 20th - October 1st
If you make an appointment on Tuesday then it will be cancelled, delayed or postponed. The trick will therefore be to make the appointment for a day that you can't make. A foreign fish will play an exciting role in your life this week. Your sex-life could be greatly improved by judicious use of peanut butter this week. Naturally, 'Crunchy' would be better than 'Smooth'.
The Octopus
October 1st - October 29th
An important financial decision could prove disastrous if you fail to properly understand the intricacies of global macro-economics. Enhance your chances of success by relying on the time-tested tradition of flipping a coin. Heads means 'Buy' and tails means 'Sell'. The old sailors motto of 'Kick it. Beat it. Cook it. Eat it.' may have special relevance to you this week when you will be faced with an animal that is in your way. You know which way is north and that ain't no lie. Use this information to your advantage on Saturday when a navigationally-challenged colleague will seek your guidance.
The Mussel
October 30th - December 1st
You will breathe more deeply this week when things that you want appear on the horizon, in a shimmering cloud. Friday afternoon (about 3:15) is the time for making a big decision about your life. What you lack in wisdom, you make up for in strength. So maybe this is a good week to settle an argument with a fist fight.
Sunday, April 26, 2020
Sunday, April 19, 2020
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 20th April 2020
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
Sailors would sometimes avoid wearing the color red. They would rather a dolphin spit at them in the eye then wear that color. Heed this advice, particularly on Wednesday. This is a good time to reflect on all the things that you are not. For example, you are not an elephant, nor are you an electric toaster. Your enemies might tell you that you are not a proper mollusk this week, i.e. that you don't belong in society. Ignore them and you will be more of a mollusk than they could ever be.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
If you keep putting it off (and you know what I mean by 'it'), it will never get done. Sort it out this week once and for all. Take the time to make some sense of what you want to say. And cast your words away upon the waves. You know a Clam who deserves to be punched...twice!
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Be wise on Thursday, but timid on Friday. A woman bearing gifts might not be the present-carrying-female that she seems. Be wary if she (if it is a she) tries making you any toast. This is a good week to remember that old nautical expression 'You can make me walk the plank, but I'll drown on my own terms'.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
If you were a vegetable, you'd probably be a tomato. Watch that you don't get squashed this week. There is a 32% probability that someone who looks like Mary Tyler Moore will shower you with unusual gifts on Friday. This will only happen though if you are wearing green You would rather stick a knife in your eye than disclose a less than important secret to your boss.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
This is a great week for trying something completely new such as listening to jazz, ballroom dancing, or invading a neighboring country. There may be times this week when you will wonder if you will ever make it to Friday unscathed. If you survive until Thursday evening, then you will be fine. Limpets, Limpets everywhere, but not a drop of love to spare. Well this might be the case for you on Monday when a rabid, potentially-drunk Limpet will cause plenty of trouble for you.
The Slug July 26th
Do you remember that when you were young, that your parents said 'When you grow up, you have the potential to do anything you want to in life'? They were lying. You only have the potential to be a failure. On Sunday, the number 28 will signify bad news. Really. Bad. News. Your Slug-like nature will mean that you will suffer twice as much as normal this week when a rival colleague will attempt to literally rub salt into old wounds.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Dietary choices may be important this week. Consider avoiding foods that are green or yellow in color. Allergies might prove bothersome this week, especially if you work on a farm or are allergic to milk. On Sunday, your day will be swiftly ruined by an odious Slug that you know. You can't prevent what they are going to do, the only thing you can do is feel a small degree of satisfaction when you sue them for every penny they've got.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
You can dance this week if you think that kicking up your heels will make you happier. By the way, it won't. Avoid cheesecake at all costs this week, except on Thursday where a small slice of cheesecake will be tolerable (but not if it contains unripened fruit). A female Mussel friend will give you something very precious this week, try not to blow the moment by commenting on her oversized rear.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
You are a fighter, not a quitter. Don't let the bastards grind you down. Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you content? Are you restless? The answers to 3 of these questions will not be revealed this week. Your map reading skills might just help you save a stranded puppy this week.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Tiredness will knock on your door this week, so be prepared to consume vast amounts of energy drinks. A forthcoming trip is causing you much stress, Speak to your doctor for advice. Tick tock, someone will be running late for a meeting with you. They are lazy fools.
Sailors would sometimes avoid wearing the color red. They would rather a dolphin spit at them in the eye then wear that color. Heed this advice, particularly on Wednesday. This is a good time to reflect on all the things that you are not. For example, you are not an elephant, nor are you an electric toaster. Your enemies might tell you that you are not a proper mollusk this week, i.e. that you don't belong in society. Ignore them and you will be more of a mollusk than they could ever be.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
If you keep putting it off (and you know what I mean by 'it'), it will never get done. Sort it out this week once and for all. Take the time to make some sense of what you want to say. And cast your words away upon the waves. You know a Clam who deserves to be punched...twice!
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Be wise on Thursday, but timid on Friday. A woman bearing gifts might not be the present-carrying-female that she seems. Be wary if she (if it is a she) tries making you any toast. This is a good week to remember that old nautical expression 'You can make me walk the plank, but I'll drown on my own terms'.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
If you were a vegetable, you'd probably be a tomato. Watch that you don't get squashed this week. There is a 32% probability that someone who looks like Mary Tyler Moore will shower you with unusual gifts on Friday. This will only happen though if you are wearing green You would rather stick a knife in your eye than disclose a less than important secret to your boss.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
This is a great week for trying something completely new such as listening to jazz, ballroom dancing, or invading a neighboring country. There may be times this week when you will wonder if you will ever make it to Friday unscathed. If you survive until Thursday evening, then you will be fine. Limpets, Limpets everywhere, but not a drop of love to spare. Well this might be the case for you on Monday when a rabid, potentially-drunk Limpet will cause plenty of trouble for you.
The Slug July 26th
Do you remember that when you were young, that your parents said 'When you grow up, you have the potential to do anything you want to in life'? They were lying. You only have the potential to be a failure. On Sunday, the number 28 will signify bad news. Really. Bad. News. Your Slug-like nature will mean that you will suffer twice as much as normal this week when a rival colleague will attempt to literally rub salt into old wounds.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Dietary choices may be important this week. Consider avoiding foods that are green or yellow in color. Allergies might prove bothersome this week, especially if you work on a farm or are allergic to milk. On Sunday, your day will be swiftly ruined by an odious Slug that you know. You can't prevent what they are going to do, the only thing you can do is feel a small degree of satisfaction when you sue them for every penny they've got.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
You can dance this week if you think that kicking up your heels will make you happier. By the way, it won't. Avoid cheesecake at all costs this week, except on Thursday where a small slice of cheesecake will be tolerable (but not if it contains unripened fruit). A female Mussel friend will give you something very precious this week, try not to blow the moment by commenting on her oversized rear.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
You are a fighter, not a quitter. Don't let the bastards grind you down. Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you content? Are you restless? The answers to 3 of these questions will not be revealed this week. Your map reading skills might just help you save a stranded puppy this week.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Tiredness will knock on your door this week, so be prepared to consume vast amounts of energy drinks. A forthcoming trip is causing you much stress, Speak to your doctor for advice. Tick tock, someone will be running late for a meeting with you. They are lazy fools.
Sunday, April 12, 2020
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 13th April 2020
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
Confront your inner demons this week and arrange for an internal exorcism. It's no use gazing at the stars if your feet are stuck in the mud. Clean your boots and get your life moving forward again. There is a Clam on the war-path, and that Clam is heading your way. Make like a dead whale, and play dead.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
A woman bearing gifts might not be the present-carrying-female that she seems. Be wary if she (if it is a she) tries making you any toast. You will not meet any world leaders this week. Try to deal with this unsatisfying news by remaining calm and not attacking anyone with a sporting accessory. Watch out for a Barnacle in a hurry on Tuesday. If you time it correctly, you will only end up with a small stain to show for their clumsiness. If you get your timing wrong however, you might be facing a stay in the hospital and you won't be eating solids for a long time.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Up for a challenge? Then remove all of the labels from any tins in your house. Meal times will then have an element of surprise and danger about them. Food may be important for you this week, so it might be preferable if you try eating it. Take a trip to your local art gallery and prepare to be moved by an unusual pasta-based sculpture.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
A friend in need is a friend indeed...except when they cheat on you behind your back. Keep a careful eye out on those that call themselves your 'friends'. A famous sailor once remarked that 'A beached whale is like a boy urinating in a church at a wedding. It doesn't look good, it doesn't smell good, and everyone pretends not to notice, even though they are secretly annoyed. Don't be that beached whale. Hook up with an Octopus on Sunday if you want to see a good time that doesn't involve ambulances.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. Eggs, or products containing eggs, are best avoided this week. Unless you are certain that they are what you want. You might know of a Slug who is in trouble this week. But as they are a Slug, you probably won't want to help them.
The Slug July 26th
One more week on the planet, means another week of learning and discovery; it also means that you're one week closer to your death. You need to go on a low-sodium diet to improve your health...pity this won't improve your looks though. You've been thinking about having some minor cosmetic surgery done, but here's a word of warning...if you polish a turd, it's still a turd.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Take the time to make some sense of what you want to say. And cast your words away upon the waves. If you smoke, then this is a good week to give up. If you don't smoke, then maybe this is a good week to try. Other Mollusks would say that 'one-on-one is fun', but you are an Oyster, in which case you should adhere to the 'eight-on-eight is great' school of bedroom philosophy.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
Indecision will be your undoing this week. You will say yes, only to then say no. You say will 'large iced latte' only to change your mind to a 'small Americano'. You will say 'I do' only to then have second thoughts and run out the church. If you keep putting it off (and you know what I mean by 'it'), it will never get done. Sort it out this week once and for all. A distantly-related Octopus will offer an interesting opportunity to you this week. Whether to accept that offer will depend heavily on a) whether you trust your wife and b) how quickly you are prepared to learn Korean.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Others will spend this week trying to think outside the box. Show them your true genius by turning the box inside out and then thinking inside it. Self-sufficiency is the name of the game for you this week. If you can avoid buying any food, then so much the better. If you hear so much as one mention of the F-word from a friend or colleague, then forcefully wash their mouth out with soap (or battery acid).
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Why will the color white be important to you this week? The answer to that question may only be revealed when you end up in a police station or supermarket on Thursday. Your weight, or the weight of someone important around you, may become a discussion point this week. Tick tock, someone will be running late for a meeting with you. They are lazy fools.
Confront your inner demons this week and arrange for an internal exorcism. It's no use gazing at the stars if your feet are stuck in the mud. Clean your boots and get your life moving forward again. There is a Clam on the war-path, and that Clam is heading your way. Make like a dead whale, and play dead.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
A woman bearing gifts might not be the present-carrying-female that she seems. Be wary if she (if it is a she) tries making you any toast. You will not meet any world leaders this week. Try to deal with this unsatisfying news by remaining calm and not attacking anyone with a sporting accessory. Watch out for a Barnacle in a hurry on Tuesday. If you time it correctly, you will only end up with a small stain to show for their clumsiness. If you get your timing wrong however, you might be facing a stay in the hospital and you won't be eating solids for a long time.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Up for a challenge? Then remove all of the labels from any tins in your house. Meal times will then have an element of surprise and danger about them. Food may be important for you this week, so it might be preferable if you try eating it. Take a trip to your local art gallery and prepare to be moved by an unusual pasta-based sculpture.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
A friend in need is a friend indeed...except when they cheat on you behind your back. Keep a careful eye out on those that call themselves your 'friends'. A famous sailor once remarked that 'A beached whale is like a boy urinating in a church at a wedding. It doesn't look good, it doesn't smell good, and everyone pretends not to notice, even though they are secretly annoyed. Don't be that beached whale. Hook up with an Octopus on Sunday if you want to see a good time that doesn't involve ambulances.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. Eggs, or products containing eggs, are best avoided this week. Unless you are certain that they are what you want. You might know of a Slug who is in trouble this week. But as they are a Slug, you probably won't want to help them.
The Slug July 26th
One more week on the planet, means another week of learning and discovery; it also means that you're one week closer to your death. You need to go on a low-sodium diet to improve your health...pity this won't improve your looks though. You've been thinking about having some minor cosmetic surgery done, but here's a word of warning...if you polish a turd, it's still a turd.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Take the time to make some sense of what you want to say. And cast your words away upon the waves. If you smoke, then this is a good week to give up. If you don't smoke, then maybe this is a good week to try. Other Mollusks would say that 'one-on-one is fun', but you are an Oyster, in which case you should adhere to the 'eight-on-eight is great' school of bedroom philosophy.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
Indecision will be your undoing this week. You will say yes, only to then say no. You say will 'large iced latte' only to change your mind to a 'small Americano'. You will say 'I do' only to then have second thoughts and run out the church. If you keep putting it off (and you know what I mean by 'it'), it will never get done. Sort it out this week once and for all. A distantly-related Octopus will offer an interesting opportunity to you this week. Whether to accept that offer will depend heavily on a) whether you trust your wife and b) how quickly you are prepared to learn Korean.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Others will spend this week trying to think outside the box. Show them your true genius by turning the box inside out and then thinking inside it. Self-sufficiency is the name of the game for you this week. If you can avoid buying any food, then so much the better. If you hear so much as one mention of the F-word from a friend or colleague, then forcefully wash their mouth out with soap (or battery acid).
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
Why will the color white be important to you this week? The answer to that question may only be revealed when you end up in a police station or supermarket on Thursday. Your weight, or the weight of someone important around you, may become a discussion point this week. Tick tock, someone will be running late for a meeting with you. They are lazy fools.
Sunday, April 5, 2020
Molluskan horoscopes for week beginning 6th April 2020
The Barnacle
December 2nd - February 19th
Why will the color purple be important to you this week? The answer to that question may only be revealed when you end up in a police station or supermarket on Wednesday. Numbers will prove problematic for you this week. It could be a birthday or other important date, or it could be the lottery. Step wisely when choosing any number. This might be the week where some vegetarian friends taunt you for not being a 'true' Mollusk. The best way of dealing with these people is to slip some goat blood into their coffee, and then taunt them for not being 'true' vegetarians.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
Self-sufficiency is the name of the game for you this week. If you can avoid buying any food, then so much the better. An accident involving tofu will cause you to dial the emergency services this week. Make sure that you have plenty of warmed milk to hand, and don't worry about the resulting stains. If you see a Barnacle this week, you should probably hit them. They are always trouble.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Your watch is making you a prisoner to time. Destroy it. Break it. Smash it up. Be free from the restrictions of a time-delimited schedule...unless you have an important meeting this week. The numbers 6 or 9 (or possibly 28) hold the key to happiness this week. A lively discussion with an old friend will end in one of two ways this week. Either you will resort to bare-knuckle fighting, or you will end up reciting poetry to them. Either way, onlookers will be greatly enthralled.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Why do you do what you think you should do when you don't do what you don't think that you should do? Even a tiny fly can stop a bullet, if its wings are made of steel. However, your wings are more likely to be made of damp cardboard, which might not be so effective. You would rather stick a knife in your eye than disclose a less than important secret to your boss.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
You may have heard of the saying 'if you can't beat them, join them', but this is a poor choice in comparison to the original nautical version of this phrase. 'If you can't beat them, then shave their beards off while they sleep'. Saturday holds a great surprise for you, unless you already know about it. When you and that lovable Oyster colleague of yours get together, then sparks will fly. Unfortunately, that might lead to a charge of arson this week, so best cancel that Tuesday night get-together.
The Slug July 26th
You will receive a call this week with fantastic news about a possible love interest. Unfortunately, it will be a wrong number. You've been thinking about having some minor cosmetic surgery done, but here's a word of warning...if you polish a turd, it's still a turd. You may be feeling down. You may be feeling that nothing good ever happens to you. But don't worry. Just remember, that 99.9% of the rest of the population are much happier than you. So at least it all balances out!
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Wedding bells might be ringing this week, but alas these are very, very quiet wedding bells which have had their clappers lined with velvet. You will have to listen very carefully if you want to hear them. Remember the saying: you can squeeze the life out of a kitten, but a kitten can't squeeze the life out of you. Is is really vanity if you pay to put an advert in a national newspaper to point out to everyone how beautiful you are?
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
A man connected with the number 91 will bring you joy and a woman connected with the number -4 will bring you great sorrow. A ship needs a rudder, a ship needs a captain, and a ship needs appropriate health and safety information. Who is the captain of your ship, and who has their hand on the rudder? And most importantly, do you have a life-jacket? Your sex-life could be greatly improved by judicious use of peanut butter this week. Naturally, 'Crunchy' would be better than 'Smooth'.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Train yourself to be mentally stronger and reap the rewards. Especially on Tuesday when a chance meeting with a handsome stranger will allow you to think outside the box. The number 79 will have special significance on Monday, but sadly you will never realize just what that significance is, and so it will all be a bit wasted on you. If you hear just one more person swear within a 20-foot radius of you, then it is time to tear up the map and get out of this town.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
If you wear too much make-up on Friday, you could be in for trouble when someone close to you mistakes you for someone even closer to them. Your weight, or the weight of someone important around you, may become a discussion point this week. Tick tock, someone will be running late for a meeting with you. They are lazy fools.
Why will the color purple be important to you this week? The answer to that question may only be revealed when you end up in a police station or supermarket on Wednesday. Numbers will prove problematic for you this week. It could be a birthday or other important date, or it could be the lottery. Step wisely when choosing any number. This might be the week where some vegetarian friends taunt you for not being a 'true' Mollusk. The best way of dealing with these people is to slip some goat blood into their coffee, and then taunt them for not being 'true' vegetarians.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
Self-sufficiency is the name of the game for you this week. If you can avoid buying any food, then so much the better. An accident involving tofu will cause you to dial the emergency services this week. Make sure that you have plenty of warmed milk to hand, and don't worry about the resulting stains. If you see a Barnacle this week, you should probably hit them. They are always trouble.
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Your watch is making you a prisoner to time. Destroy it. Break it. Smash it up. Be free from the restrictions of a time-delimited schedule...unless you have an important meeting this week. The numbers 6 or 9 (or possibly 28) hold the key to happiness this week. A lively discussion with an old friend will end in one of two ways this week. Either you will resort to bare-knuckle fighting, or you will end up reciting poetry to them. Either way, onlookers will be greatly enthralled.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Why do you do what you think you should do when you don't do what you don't think that you should do? Even a tiny fly can stop a bullet, if its wings are made of steel. However, your wings are more likely to be made of damp cardboard, which might not be so effective. You would rather stick a knife in your eye than disclose a less than important secret to your boss.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
You may have heard of the saying 'if you can't beat them, join them', but this is a poor choice in comparison to the original nautical version of this phrase. 'If you can't beat them, then shave their beards off while they sleep'. Saturday holds a great surprise for you, unless you already know about it. When you and that lovable Oyster colleague of yours get together, then sparks will fly. Unfortunately, that might lead to a charge of arson this week, so best cancel that Tuesday night get-together.
The Slug July 26th
You will receive a call this week with fantastic news about a possible love interest. Unfortunately, it will be a wrong number. You've been thinking about having some minor cosmetic surgery done, but here's a word of warning...if you polish a turd, it's still a turd. You may be feeling down. You may be feeling that nothing good ever happens to you. But don't worry. Just remember, that 99.9% of the rest of the population are much happier than you. So at least it all balances out!
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
Wedding bells might be ringing this week, but alas these are very, very quiet wedding bells which have had their clappers lined with velvet. You will have to listen very carefully if you want to hear them. Remember the saying: you can squeeze the life out of a kitten, but a kitten can't squeeze the life out of you. Is is really vanity if you pay to put an advert in a national newspaper to point out to everyone how beautiful you are?
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
A man connected with the number 91 will bring you joy and a woman connected with the number -4 will bring you great sorrow. A ship needs a rudder, a ship needs a captain, and a ship needs appropriate health and safety information. Who is the captain of your ship, and who has their hand on the rudder? And most importantly, do you have a life-jacket? Your sex-life could be greatly improved by judicious use of peanut butter this week. Naturally, 'Crunchy' would be better than 'Smooth'.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
Train yourself to be mentally stronger and reap the rewards. Especially on Tuesday when a chance meeting with a handsome stranger will allow you to think outside the box. The number 79 will have special significance on Monday, but sadly you will never realize just what that significance is, and so it will all be a bit wasted on you. If you hear just one more person swear within a 20-foot radius of you, then it is time to tear up the map and get out of this town.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
If you wear too much make-up on Friday, you could be in for trouble when someone close to you mistakes you for someone even closer to them. Your weight, or the weight of someone important around you, may become a discussion point this week. Tick tock, someone will be running late for a meeting with you. They are lazy fools.
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