Should you wear purple on Thursday? No, but you'll do it anyway because you have no sense of fashion. Train yourself to be mentally stronger and reap the rewards. Especially on Saturday when a chance meeting with a handsome stranger will allow you to think outside the box. Beware the old saying: 'a Squid in need is a Squid indeed'. It might make no sense, but then again neither does the weather.
The Snail February 20th - March 9th
A trip to the dry-cleaners could provide the impetus you have been looking for to kick-start your business plans. Something will be hot this week. It could be you, it could be the weather, or it could be some mustard. The heat will be good, just remember to stay cool. When a Snail and an Octopus get together the results can be hard to predict. So take extra special care on Sunday when you will meet an Octopus in an uncomfortable situation (an industrial-strength stain remover might be required).
The Limpet March 10th - May 1st
Clouds are on the horizon. Storm clouds. Storm clouds that will bring rain, hail, thunder, and lightning. Run away. Don't take no for an answer, especially when rancid dairy products are involved. This is a good week to remember that old nautical expression 'You can make me walk the plank, but I'll drown on my own terms'.
The Clam May 2nd - June 2nd
Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. The more you finish, the more just keeps piling up on your desk. The solution to your office stress is to buy a box of matches...the rest will become obvious. The current problems with your job are partially due to the monotony that surrounds you. Kick start your career by doing something to shock your colleagues and show them your inner beast. You would rather stick a knife in your eye than disclose a less than important secret to your boss.
The Squid June 3rd - July 25th
Ignite your enthusiasm this week by planning a trip, but avoid buses, trains, and planes as these might bring you danger. This is a good time to reflect on all the things that you are not. For example, you are not an elephant, nor are you an electric toaster. Invite a Clam to dinner this week on Tuesday. This will be the one day that they can't make, so easy brownie points for you!
The Slug July 26th
Remember, things can go only get better...actually for you they can probably still get quite a bit worse. Want some advice? Trying to be popular is never going to work. An alternative solution would be to crawl under a large rock and stay there. Have you looked outside recently? If you have you will have noticed that it has been dull and gloomy for some time. A bit like you.
The Oyster July 27th - August 19th
A pretty young woman connected to the number 61 will be involved in a bizarre gardening accident this week. You may or may not know this woman. Why do you spend so much time waiting for other people to tell you how great you are. Cut out the middle man and start singing your own praises while looking in the mirror. If the level of your confidence was a country, it would be Australia.
The Scallop August 20th - October 1st
See a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck...or will you??? Wednesday afternoon (about 3:15) is the time for making a big decision about your life. Eat anything you want this week, but avoid the kung po chicken at all costs.
The Octopus October 1st - October 29th
You will breathe more deeply this week when things that you want appear on the horizon, in a shimmering cloud. A man connected with the number 48 will potentially have a healing effect on your 'little problem' that's been bothering you. If you hear just one more person swear within a 20-foot radius of you, then it is time to tear up the map and get out of this town.
The Mussel October 30th - December 1st
This week you might find yourself inconvenienced in an enclosed space with someone who looks remarkably like Paul Harvey. Does this matter? Only time will tell. It is written that 'a drunken sailor is a happy sailor', yet it is also written that 'drinking leads to death'. Which one of these sayings do you most believe in? When you say meet me at 3:47 pm, you of course mean 'meet me at 3:47 pm'. So when a stupid Slug that you know turns up at 3:49 pm, you are entitled to walk away and never talk to them again.
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