Take the time to make some sense of what you want to say. And cast your words away upon the waves. Try experiencing the quirkier side of life when you next read a book by only reading the odd-numbered pages. This is the week where you will need an Oyster by your side, but there will be none to be found. If you get desperate then try searching at either a bar, brothel, or baptism ceremony. These are all natural haunts for the Oyster.
If you were a vegetable, you'd probably be a tomato. Watch that you don't get squashed this week. The number 67 will have special significance on Friday, but sadly you will never realize just what that significance is, and so it will all be a bit wasted on you. Would you ever be so stupid to get drunk with a Scallop on a work night, and then go to one of those clubs that your mother warned you about? The answer to this question will be revealed on Monday.
A little rodent problem will cause you a major headache this week. Who knew that rats liked ice-cream? The ship of your dreams is sailing down the river of despair. It's time to take hold of the tiller of fate, and steer yourself to the calm waters of your future. You once knew a Limpet who was vile, repugnant, and had a tendency to sweat heavily. Well bad news for you because that very same family member will be knocking on your door this week.
Fish are a big thing in your life at the moment. Catching fish and eating fish are what you are all about. They say that 'you are what you eat'. But what if you are a cannibal and ate someone famous...would you become that person? You may have heard the old sailor's expression 'you can never fail with a Snail'...but you do know that there is an exception to every rule right? Walk very carefully on Friday when said Snail will try to take you somewhere that a Clam should never go.
Your enemies are plotting against you. Ignore them, what's the worse that could happen? Be careful not to overexert yourself in the kitchen this week. Remember, too many broths spoil the cook. Make like a fox this week and be cunning. Especially when someone is out to deceive you into buying a beef-based product that you really don't need.
There is an elephant in the room. You are the elephant. Your miserable existence will take a further turn for the worse this week, so be prepared to sink to new lows. Life is looking good for you this week...actually, that's not exactly true. More likely, life is looking very bad for you.
A sailor that can't sail is not a sailor. Likewise a thinker that can't think is not a thinker. Are you a sailor or a thinker? Mishearing the phrase 'Mass perturbation' will prove your undoing this week. Have your excuses at the ready. Get the guys or girls around your place on Wednesday for a lurve fest.
There is a very old tradition that Sailors used to follow when leaving home before embarking on a long voyage. Urinate on three things that you love, and spit on three things that you hate. Only this will ensure a safe trip. Heed these words before undertaking any business travel this week. Others will spend this week trying to think outside the box. Show them your true genius by turning the box inside out and then thinking inside it. If someone offers you any food this week, then beware! It might be spiked with pepper. You should no longer trust this person, even if you are married to them.
You will have an important meeting with your boss this week. Be careful, the wrong choice of shoes will prove disastrous to your career. Try to spend one day this week in silence. Communicate only with gestures or bodily odors. Your map reading skills might just help you save a stranded puppy this week.
If there was ever a week in which you should enroll in a foreign language class, then this is the week. Don't do things that you don't want to do, unless you do want to do the things that you think that you don't want to do. 'Wham, bam, thank you Clam'...that might be a motto for you to learn this week as Clam-antics in the bedroom will get you all worked up.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment