A famous fisherman once noted that while five fish will always feed a family of four, four fish might not feed a family of five. These words will have special meaning for you this week. You will breathe more deeply this week when things that you want appear on the horizon, in a shimmering cloud. A old Snail associate will cross your path this week...very slowly. Be patient, this Snail will provide you with much needed culinary relief.
Your weight, or the weight of someone important around you, may become a discussion point this week. This is a good time to reflect on all the things that you are not. For example, you are not an elephant, nor are you an electric toaster. Think of a beautiful day where you are happy and carefree. Now think of a fat and sweaty Mussel that you know. They will ruin said beautiful day and an unpleasant bout of flatulence will almost certainly be the cause.
It's no use gazing at the stars if your feet are stuck in the mud. Clean your boots and get your life moving forward again. Take heed of the old sailors warning 'If you drown, you die'. A Clam in your immediate family will cause trouble by revealing all about your dark secret involving the hamster.
A famous sailor once said "You can kiss a mermaid, but you might still die of scurvy"...these words will have special significance for you this week. One of the following objects will potentially cause you to have a life-altering event this week: a red car, an unripe avocado, Monday's edition of your local newspaper, or a vibrating electronic device. Whatever anyone says to you, it's not worth telling your boss about.
Train yourself to be mentally stronger and reap the rewards. Especially on Saturday when a chance meeting with a handsome stranger will allow you to think outside the box. If you smoke, then this is a good week to give up. If you don't smoke, then maybe this is a good week to try. Invite a Clam to dinner this week on Friday. This will be the one day that they can't make, so easy brownie points for you!
It's a tough life being a Slug. Nobody likes you, nobody wants to be around you, and nobody can stand your personal hygiene problems. Are you just misunderstood? Actually, no. You will receive a call this week with fantastic news about a possible love interest. Unfortunately, it will be a wrong number. This is going to be a very good week...not for you personally, but you can't have everything.
Don't do things that you don't want to do, unless you do want to do the things that you think that you don't want to do. A friend in need is a friend indeed...except when they cheat on you behind your back. Keep a careful eye out on those that call themselves your 'friends'. On Sunday, your day will be swiftly ruined by an odious Slug that you know. You can't prevent what they are going to do, the only thing you can do is feel a small degree of satisfaction when you sue them for every penny they've got.
The number 5 will have special significance on Wednesday, but sadly you will never realize just what that significance is, and so it will all be a bit wasted on you. This is a week that is much less about who you are, but much more about who you could be. You are a kitten but you want to be a tiger. Become the tiger! A clam you know will offer to cook for you this week. Be careful, they might have ulterior motives, and they will certainly try spiking your food with Tabasco sauce.
Should you find yourself in a casino this week, then the number 11 might be the key to a little financial surprise (the surprise might involve the words 'your credit card is no longer valid' so be careful). Tiredness will knock on your door this week, so be prepared to consume vast amounts of energy drinks. If you hear just one more person swear within a 20-foot radius of you, then it is time to tear up the map and get out of this town.
A ship needs a rudder, a ship needs a captain, and a ship needs appropriate health and safety information. Who is the captain of your ship, and who has their hand on the rudder? And most importantly, do you have a life-jacket? Why do you do what you think you should do when you don't do what you don't think that you should do? You know an Octopus who is almost the perfect person. Polite, charming, attractive, and financially independent. Sadly, you chose to marry their poor, ugly, and alcoholic cousin instead.
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